ENTJs – Are they really the bad guys?

Author

felyn.yip

Author

Most ENTJs become direct leaders, and because of their style, get accused of being the ‘bad guy’. Truth is, ENTJs know what they want, and they go after it in the most pragmatic way possible. Because of their high confidence in themselves and their ability to make things happen, ENTJs get misconstrued as arrogant, brash and overbearing.

 

This, of course, is off-putting to other personality types. Their determined minds and resolute desire to achieve those goals comes across as ruthless or overbearing because it is so unlike most of the other types.

 

It’s important to know that just because they have a naturally dominant personality, they are not heartless people. They have the same love and desire to help people, but simply express it differently from others.

 

It’s important to recognise that just because they have a dominant personality, ENTJs are not heartless. In fact, they respect when others hold their own about things that matter, so long as it is based on facts that the ENTJ can see.

 

Of course, this is not to say ENTJs have no weaknesses. When they are working, ENTJs can come across as impatient, self-centered or intolerant of others.

 

But today, we want to debunk this myth of them being the bad guys. We want to set straight some misconceptions people have about ENTJs.

 

Misconception: ENTJs are too self-centred to be an effective leader.

 

Driven by their desire for excellence, ENTJs naturally take leadership roles or strive for the highest of positions. They are active communicators and make themselves heard in every situation.

 

People mistake this for self-centeredness, feeling that the ENTJ only speaks for themselves and their own agenda. This may be true for some ENTJs, but also true for many other personalities out there.

 

Truth is, ENTJs think for the overall growth and well-being of organizations, and sometimes the decisions they make can appear sacrificing individuals’ well-being. But all in all, they are utilitarian, looking out for the most benefit for the largest group of people. People may disagree with their approach, but ENTJs are unapologetic about the way they go about solving problems.

 

Misconception: It would be impossible to work with an ENTJ.

ENTJs come across has brash, unforgiving of mistakes and quick to judge. This makes them appear hard to work with. It’s here that people come to believe that it is impossible to work with them.

 

Actually, ENTJs welcome input of any sort, especially one that challenges their viewpoint. ENTJs like being challenged, and when their team or colleagues challenge their viewpoint, they get stimulated and engaged. This is because they believe that any good idea needs to be challenged to be refined and proven.

 

People who understand that find that working with ENTJs to be a delight. There’s a strong exchange of ideas, but nothing is personal. It’s all about the validity of the ideas and whether they work. If you can leave aside your personal feelings, working with ENTJ can be good for your personal and professional growth.

 

Misconception: Being in a relationship with an ENTJ would be impossible.

 

ENTJs are known for being a little out of touch with emotions and can risk being insensitive. However, as a partner, their confidence can serve you well as they are always looking for ways to improve themselves and the way they showcase their love.

 

ENTJs are very open to feedback. If you’re the partner, they will take what you say seriously and look for ways they can improve themselves. This can be rather delightful; how many partners do we know are willing to actively change themselves to be better?

 

Hence, ENTJs often start out rough in the edges. They aren’t the best first dates, or adept at saying the right things at the start. What’s important is that they are committed to the process of improving and becoming better for you.

 

Misconception: You can’t show emotion around an ENTJ.

 

At first sight, ENTJs look ruthless and cannot care less about your feelings. They can look like people without a heart.

 

ENTJs actually have emotions just like everyone else. But because they’re not used to using it in their decision-making, they tend to be more awkward when having to access their emotions or show their emotions. Often, it may come out in an uncontrolled fashion, which is why ENTJs tend to avoid it more. Mature ENTJs, however, know how to manage their emotions together with their logic.

 

Also, in the making of decisions, especially corporate ones, ENTJs don’t see emotions or people’s feelings as a valid point to consider. After all, what is best for the organization is regardless of how people feel about it. This is true from a logical standpoint. However, people who don’t understand this about the ENTJ tend to just label them as emotionless, heartless creatures.

 

All in all, ENTJs have a reputation of being very hard to be with. This is true, if you don’t know how to engage them. In the end, they are like everyone else, doing their best and making sure they are faithful and excellent in their tasks.

 

If you can embrace the natural weakness of the ENTJ, you’ll enjoy their natural strength of leadership, clear goals and resoluteness toward their dreams.

 

Have you understood your ENTJ friend/partner better now? Comment below to share your experience with us! 

 

5 Tips for Dating an ESFP Personality

Author

felyn.yip

Author

Dating an ESFP? Lucky you!

 

ESFPs are fun-loving, charismatic and generous people.  Approachable at all times, they want to make every moment with your count. Nothing too serious, and nothing too heavy. They just love having you and spending time with you.

 

However, ESFPs are often misunderstood. Their playful nature may imply to some that they’re not serious nor committed to the relationship. Yes, that is the case if you’re constantly trying to ‘tie them down’.

 

But if you love your ESFP partner and want to settle down long-term with him or her, here’s what you can do to make them happy:

 

Do fun stuff together.

Think of social and fun stuff to do.  ESFPs like to engage in many things at one time as they are energetic and sociable. Their lives are always packed with enjoyable activities, socialising, friends and work.

Watching a football game with enthusiastic fans or go dancing at a nightclub appeals to them. Nothing too serious, too deep or abstract.

 

Keep them hooked

It’s very easy for ESFPs to lose focus and get bored when there are no new things around them. Because of this, they tend to look elsewhere, and that might also give them a reputation for jumping from one relationship to another. So if you’re dating them, try to keep them hooked and engage in different activities at one time.

It’s a good idea to invite your partner to learn something creative and new like music, dance, cooking, a wine appreciation club or an amateur theatre group. Most of them are also interested in team sports so you can go for a para-jumping group or rowing team for couples. The whole point is to keep them involved in new things so that they don’t look for thrills elsewhere.

 

Don’t grudge them the limelight

ESFPs are most of the times at the centre of groups, work, and social situations.

They are exceedingly popular owing to their easy-going and friendly nature. So don’t be disturbed if once in a while your partner has a calendar packed with events whether it includes you or not.

It might be difficult to understand initially but try to make your own plans with friends or reading a book at home. The point is to give them space and not to make them feel that they only can spend time with you.   

 

Appreciate their generosity

There is no doubt how generous and warm ESFPs are. They will initially sweep you off your feet with their desire to please you. They will go to great lengths to make their partners happy. You are likely to get a lot of surprises from your ESFP partner.

Sometimes, this nature can lead to extravagant buying. Instead of chastising them, appreciate their exuberant natures and generosity. Gently remind them that they can be more moderate in their purchase in the future.  

 

Encourage light discussions

ESFPs like it when they can have fun and enjoyable discussions and avoid places where people are judgemental, critical and negative.

Build an atmosphere which is positive with no conflict. Make sure you don’t use a harsh or critical stance when discussing an issue. Approach any matter constructively and cooperatively to encourage non-judgmental dialogue.

 

Are you an ESFP? Share this post with your friend, so they learn more about you!

 

Dating an ESFP? Comment on this post to share your experience or share your story in the Story section of the website!

What Every ESFJ Wants You to Know

Author

felyn.yip

Author

For those who are ESFJs, or perhaps come into regular contact with ESFJs, you may be well aware of the ability an ESFJ has to connect with others, to be well-liked, and to make sure those around them are happy.

 

They love knowing what’s going on in the world around them and love connecting to others. They have a natural trust for leaders and love to serve in any way they can. This can lead others to question their motives, wondering if it’s out of an obligation or a genuine desire.

 

ESFJs can make friends with anyone they meet (some even say they could talk to a wall!). But being so extroverted doesn’t mean that ESFJs tell all about themselves. For many things, ESFJs keep mum because they deem certain things inappropriate to talk about.

 

In this article, we’re taking a look at what ESFJs want you to know about them.  

 

“I participate in service because I WANT to.”

 

It’s rare that you find someone loves to serve others and does it by choice. But, as an ESFJ, that’s just what I do! I can understand that sometimes others serve because they feel obligated to, but that’s not the case for me.

 

In fact, service is one way I find my joy. Because of this, I enjoy volunteering, taking care of others, and understanding where others are coming from. Of course, I have an expectation that others will do likewise, but I am genuinely disappointed when others don’t.

 

“I’m really, really sensitive.”

 

Not only do I take things personally, but I also empathize with the feelings of those around me. I can see when someone is upset around me, and it’s always my goal to make them feel better by talking to them.  

 

If you’re my family, friend, or coworker, please try and be extra gentle when giving me negative feedback. I may act like I can take it and smile, but it hurts me more than it looks.

 

“When something isn’t planned well, it drives me insane.”

 

I thrive on routine and plans, and spontaneity just isn’t my thing. I do really well at planned events when I know what is going to happen.

 

I also really like planning and organizing events and things for others, especially when they’re events and activities that others will enjoy.

 

But I can’t stand people who refuse to stick to the plan or make changes as and when they wish. I feel these people don’t give respect to those who have made plans already.

 

“You can count on me.”

 

I know sometimes people say this and don’t mean it, but I can promise you I do. I am a naturally loyal person, and it is important to me never to let down those relying on me.

 

Whether in my personal life or in the workplace, I’m here for those around me and enjoy being relied on. It gives me a sense of purpose to help others. To fail in doing so is a big blow to me, hence I do all I can to make sure I fulfill my word to you.

 

“I care what people think about me.”

 

As much as I may hate to admit, I do care what others think of me. I care about social status, and I care about doing things that make me look my best. It’s just the natural people-pleaser in me.

 

This can sometimes hinder me, of course, and take away some of the individual characteristics that make me, ME. However, I just really want to please others and have a positive influence on those around me.

 

You can help me by assuring me that I am loved by you and by the people around me. It matters a lot to me.


Comment below to share your thoughts on this!

 

 

 

Best Dating Ideas For Extroverts In San Francisco

Author

felyn.yip

Author

So, you’ve fallen in love in the Golden City. You’re dating an Extrovert, and now you’re thinking, what are the best dating ideas that will keep your relationship rolling?

 

Having been married to an Introverted wife for more than twenty years, Dr. Adam Earnheardt, who claims to be an expert in Extrovert-Introvert dating, believes that dating opposites can be challenging.

 

This challenge is more so when partners do not find a balance. One needs to take more effort to figure out what the partner likes to do, seeing that it’s going to be different from yours! Dr. Earnheardt reveals that most extroverts prefer a mix of high energy, large crowd environments and low-key, one-on-one dating.

 

In other words, they love to party! However, when the party’s done, they want your exclusive attention and listening ear.

 

Here are some affordable, best dating ideas in the Golden City:

 

Bowling

Bowling provides a great activity that will suit both Extroverts and Introverts. Your extroverted partner can have fun and perhaps interact with the neighboring lane, while you can sit in the waiting area to take a break when you need to.

 

Bowling alleys in San Francisco such as Presidio will feed the extroverts the energy that they need – while giving you some solitude in brief moments. The beauty of bowling alleys is that they are not so crowded, so when you want to have moments to build intimacy, it won’t be awkward or uncomfortable.

 

Festivals and Concerts

Extroverts love being around people, and nothing provides such an environment like a concert or a festival can. Be on the lookout for the next big concert or festival in San Francisco – there are dozens of them happening. Invite your partner along for a great time – he or she is bound to love it!

 

If you’re really not a concert goer and can’t stand the crowds, look for something in between, like an arts festival where you can still have sufficient personal space, and yet not denying the Extrovert a chance to have fun.

 

Amusement Parks

There are many amusement parks in San Francisco, a great place to take your Extroverted date. Places like Six Flags Discovery Kingdom, Children’s Fairyland, Pixieland Amusement Park are good places for a whole day of fun! It’s a place where there’s a mix of eating, taking rides and interesting conversations while you’re having to queue for those rides.

 

Of course, the quality of conversations in an amusement park can be subpar, but this can be solved by having rest breaks or snack time.

 

Lively Bars or Clubs

These lively bars all over San Francisco provide great environments for Extroverts to enjoy. Of course, moderation is key, as overindulging in nightlife and overdrinking leads to unwanted consequences and terrible hangovers.

 

Having a balance is good. Find a place that you feel comfortable and gives you the space to have a meaningful conversation with your partner. A club or a bar where your favorite tunes are being belted out will provide that golden opportunity for you and your date to dance the night away.

 

Wine tasting

For the ones with refined tastes, bring your Extroverted date for wine tasting in San Francisco in locations such as Napa and Sonoma Wine Country Tour, Alcatraz & Sonoma Valley Wine Tour, among other wine tasting venues and events.

 

This is a great opportunity for you to enjoy the scenery, savor wine and have your quiet moments with one another when the chance arises. Most wine tours are slow paced and easy – so you won’t feel left out of the fun and excitement.

 

Which is your favorite dating spot? Comment below! 

 

Find out how you can interact with your partner:  

https://www.personality-central.com/relationship