ISTP - INFP Relationship

ISTP - INFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ISTP - INFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ISTP - INFP relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other’s private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
  • In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties.
  • If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
  • Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another.
  • Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going. In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about.
  • Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough.
  • May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.


  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.


  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.


Here’s how ISTPs and INFPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ISTP as an INFP
  • Invite your partner to share – Your partner is a person of few words. Invite him/her to share by asking thoughtful questions and giving undivided attention. 
  • Keep it light-hearted – Don’t get too serious with your partner, whether at work or in a social setting. Your partner likes things light-hearted and fun. 
  • Keep it simple – Your partner is unlikely to grasp your immense and complex feelings. Whatever you think or feel, break it down simply for them. 
  • Be objective – Sometimes your partner may come across insensitive or careless with words. Don’t take it personally but be objective – your partner is likely talking about the issue than making a personal attack. 
  • Give freedom – Your partner wants freedom and sometimes may avoid people altogether for that purpose. Don’t press for answers but give your partner the time and space to be alone.
Reaching out to the INFP as an ISTP
  • Be gentle and sensitive – Try to be considerate towards your partner’s feelings when he/she confides in you. Be patient and try to understand. 
  • Learn to compromise – When you disagree with your partner, don’t walk away easily. Strive to reach a place of compromise where both parties meet halfway and make up after disagreements. 
  • Appreciate the care – Thank your partner for being a listening ear, and for all the ways he/she has nurtured and cared for you. 
  • Listen supportively – Hear your partner out on his/her concerns in a careful and supportive manner. Let your partner talk without interruption, and resist trying to fix the problems immediately. 
  • Explore alternatives – When your partner lets you in on their innovative and original ideas, try to compliment him/her and be willing to try them out.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ISTP – INFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.