INTP – ESTP Relationship

INTP - ESTP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INTP - ESTP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INTP - ESTP relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Introversion

Joys Struggles
  • Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert.
  • Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants.
  • Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.
  • Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them.
  • Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask.
  • On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.

Sensing-Intuition

Joys Struggles
  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.

Thinking-Thinking

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.
  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.
  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values.
  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.

Perceiving-Perceiving

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.

 

Here’s how INTPs and ESTPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INTP as an ESTP
  • Ask questions and listen more It is likely you would dominate any conversation with your partner. Learn to ask questions and listen to your partner’s input instead of over-talking. 
  • Be patient when listening – Your partner loves to entertain ideas, theories and concepts, something that you may not enjoy at all. Be patient, and let him/her complete the point. 
  • Ask your partner to simplify it – Your partner may be too complex when explaining their ideas to you. Gently request for him/her to break it down into actionable steps or use a metaphor. 
  • Talk about why it is effective – When you are suggesting a new approach to tackle any issue with your partner, talk about why and how it will achieve its intended goal effectively. 
  • Encourage your partner to take action – Your partner probably spends a lot of time thinking and reflecting. You can encourage him/her to channel the energy into translating those thoughts into reality.
Reaching out to the ESTP as an INTP
  • Speak up – Speak plainly as your partner may misinterpret your silence for disapproval or judgement. 
  • Make it specific – Make your communication specific, not big picture or vague. Give the to-dos and the actionable steps, not the theory. 
  • Have fun activities together – Connect with your partner by having fun activities together, preferably outdoors. 
  • Don’t expect your partner to engage you in debate – While you may enjoy debate, your partner doesn’t. Refrain from discussing topics or ideas that do not directly lead to action. 
  • Give options – Your partner enjoys the freedom of choice. Let them decide, even though you may already have an opinion which is better.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INTP – ESTP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.