INTP – ENFP Relationship

INTP - ENFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INTP - ENFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INTP - ENFP relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Introversion

Joys Struggles
  • Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert.
  • Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants.
  • Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.
  • Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them.
  • Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask.
  • On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.

Intuition-Intuition

Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.

Thinking-Feeling

Joys Struggles
  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.

Perceiving-Perceiving

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.

 

Here’s how INTPs and ENFPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INTP as an ENFP
  • Allow your partner to share thoughts – Give your partner time to formulate and express his/her thoughts, resist the temptation to interject or cut in when there is silence. 
  • Don’t be taken aback by their scepticism – Your partner is likely to challenge your ideas as they come. Don’t take it personally – your partner simply enjoys an intellectual challenge through fruitful discussion. 
  • Hear out the analysis of the situation – Ask clarifying questions to listen to the analysis of a situation; you often will learn something new following your partner’s thought process. 
  • Use objective logic – You can be highly passionate and emotional when sharing your feelings, but you have to use objective logic and facts to convince your partner. 
  • Give them the freedom to decide – Your partner does not like it when you attempt to impose a way of thinking on him/her. Provide the facts and then let your partner do the analysis and to arrive his/her own conclusion.
Reaching out to the ENFP as an INTP
  • Express yourself – Express your thoughts intentionally and always adopt a warm and partnerly tone when you do so. 
  • Be encouraging and affirming – How you say something is also important. Be more encouraging and affirming with your partner and avoid being too critical. 
  • Have fun together – Your partner enjoys social activities and connects well with people he/she plays with. 
  • Support your partner’s cause – Your partner may believe in some causes strongly, but your tendency may be to challenge the ideas. The better way would be to support your partner. 
  • Focus on developing people – Your proposals or ideas with a focus on developing people to their full potential will be most appealing to your partner.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INTP – ENFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.