INTJ – INTP Relationship

INTJ - INTP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INTJ - INTP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INTJ - INTP relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference difference. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Introversion-Introversion

Joys Struggles
  • Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other’s private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
  • In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties.
  • If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
  • Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another.
  • Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going. In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about.
  • Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough.
  • May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.

Intuition-Intuition

Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.

Thinking-Thinking

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.
  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.
  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values.
  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.

Judging-Perceiving

Joys Struggles
  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.

 

Here’s how INTJs and INTPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INTJ as an INTP
  • Give your partner time to justify insights – Like you, your partner probably has a lot of insights about a situation; however he/she may find it hard to explain. Give your partner time to find the words. 
  • Get to the point – Get to the gist of the issue and state your conclusions. Your partner may get impatient if you beat about the bush in any way. 
  • Be decisive – Don’t stay in the discussion stage for too long. Be decisive and stick to the plans. 
  • Explain your logic clearly – Explaining logically how you arrived at certain conclusions will help your partner understand you better. Don’t challenge for its own sake.
  • Talk effective strategy with your partner – Your partner is open to hear pragmatic strategies to get to his/her goals. Have a discussion about that.
Reaching out to the INTP as an INTJ
  • Share your thought process – Sharing your thought process with your partner; don’t expect your partner to figure out how you arrived at certain conclusions. 
  • Get to the gist quickly – Explain your conclusion from the outset, and then have discussion about the logic of your thought process. 
  • Be patient to debate and discussion – Your partner may like to have debates and discussions as a tool to get the best solution. Don’t let the lack of conclusion bother you. 
  • Be open to changes – Your partner may tend to change their schedules and decision as and when circumstance change. Be patient with that, as it is likely to get on your nerves. 
  • Focus on points of action – Talk about actionable strategies with your partner and break it down to to-do lists with your partner. This will ensure any discussion won’t end fruitless.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INTJ – INTP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.