INTJ – INTJ Relationship

INTJ - INTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INTJ - INTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INTJ - INTJ relationship has 4 preference similarities and 0 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Introversion-Introversion

JoysStruggles
  • Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other’s private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
  • In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties.
  • If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
  • Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another.
  • Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going. In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about.
  • Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough.
  • May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.

Intuition-Intuition

JoysStruggles
  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.

Thinking-Thinking

JoysStruggles
  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.
  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.
  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values.
  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.

Judging-Judging

JoysStruggles
  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.
  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes.
  • They will also appreciate their partner’s ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top.
  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.
  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards.
  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.
  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.

 

Here’s how INTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INTJ as an INTJ
  • Share your thought process – Both of you have complex thought processes that you may find hard to articulate. Talk through your thought process with your partner.
  • Get to the gist quickly – Your partner is impatient to wait for you to get to the point. State your conclusion first, before substantiating it with facts or data. 
  • Talk about long-term strategy – Your partner wants to hear your long-term strategy and compare it. Have a focused discussion on it. 
  • Focus on points of action – Rather than letting a strategic discussion stay as that, focus on how you and your partner can take action to find a suitable course of action. 
  • Work out an effective solution – Like you, your partner is looking for the most effective solution to a problem. Find the better 3rd solution that considers both your viewpoints.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INTJ – INTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.