INTJ – ENTJ Relationship

INTJ - ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INTJ - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INTJ - ENTJ relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference difference. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert.
  • Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants.
  • Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.
  • Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them.
  • Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask.
  • On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.
  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.
  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values.
  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.


  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.
  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes.
  • They will also appreciate their partner’s ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top.
  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.
  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards.
  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.
  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.


Here’s how INTJs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INTJ as an ENTJ
  • Give your partner time to consider your proposals – Don’t expect immediate answers from your partner but give your partner time to think and reflect on what you say, especially if you want a quality response. 
  • Listen patiently – Your partner probably has a harder articulating their thoughts at times. Give your partner time to find the words and listen patiently for the answer. 
  • Don’t discount their intuition – Sometimes your partner will come to conclusions quickly without being able to properly justify it. Don’t dismiss it – but consider it serious as your partner’s intuition is often proven correct more often than not. 
  • Don’t let debates go overboard – Sometimes in a bid to find the best answer, your debates with your partner can get overboard. Don’t take things personally and be aware of how it is affecting everyone else. 
  • Don’t let your opinions hinder progress – In the same vein, don’t let your opposing opinions hinder progress. Find a better 3rd solution quickly that incorporates both insights so you can move forward.
Reaching out to the ENTJ as an INTJ
  • Speak up intentionally – Your partner will likely dominate the conversation unless you express your thoughts intentionally. Speak up and assert your point. 
  • Share your thought process – Explain how you arrived at certain conclusions, and then be open to discuss with your partner about its logic. 
  • Get to the gist quickly – Your partner may be impatient while you are explaining yourself. Get to the gist quick and allow your partner to ask the questions. 
  • Find a better 3rd solution – Both of you probably have brilliant insights into issues. Find a better 3rd solution that combines both your analysis. 
  • Challenge where necessary – Your partner may appear opinionated, but he/she will respect people who stand behind their arguments. Challenge their thought process to find the best solution.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INTJ – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.