INFP – INTP Relationship

INFP - INTP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INFP - INTP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INFP - INTP relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference difference. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other’s private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
  • In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties.
  • If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
  • Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another.
  • Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going. In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about.
  • Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough.
  • May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.


Here’s how INFPs and INTPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INFP as an INTP
  • Express your feelings too – Be intentional to share how you feel, not just what you think. Your partner appreciates your authentic sharing. 
  • Be encouraging and affirming – Your objective analysis may be misconstrued as being critical or offensive. Adopt an encouraging and affirming way to say it. 
  • Support your partner’s dreams – Your partner has dreams he/she shares with close ones. Find out what those dreams are and support your partner to achieve it. 
  • Focus on developing people – Use a people-centric angle to share your proposals and ideas. Suggest how your ideas can develop people to their fullest potential. 
  • Don’t try too hard to analyse – In a bid to analyse a situation, you may appear to be dissecting your partner’s emotions coldly; this is not helpful to your partner, instead just empathise.
Reaching out to the INTP as an INFP
  • Make your points heard – Your partner is likely to bring up their analysis on issues; make yourself heard by speaking up clearly and articulating your pointers. 
  • Focus on the logic of things – Logic and pragmatism make sense for your partner, but your passion and ideals drive you. Focus on logical proof to convince him/her. 
  • Don’t take the arguments personally – Your partner likes to have debates, and to you, it may look like an argument. Don’t take it personally – it’s usually to challenge your partner mentally. 
  • Stay objective – Sometimes your partner’s pointers may irk you or cause you to react emotionally. Stay objective and neutral when making your points. 
  • Give time to take action – Your partner prefers the act of thinking and reflecting than executing. Give your partner more allowance of time and space to translate thought into action.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INFP – INTP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.