INFP – ESFP Relationship

INFP - ESFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INFP - ESFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INFP - ESFP relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert.
  • Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants.
  • Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.
  • Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them.
  • Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask.
  • On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.


  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.


  • Both parties are attracted to each other’s warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.
  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other.
  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner’s needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.
  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.
  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.
  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions.


  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.


Here’s how INFPs and ESFPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INFP as an ESFP
  • Be honest but gentle and diplomatic – If you have a point to make or an issue to raise with your partner, be gentle even as you speak your mind. Balancing the truth with tact will help him/her take things in the right way. 
  • Be patient with your partner’s less excited reactions – Your partner may seem to have a slower reaction time than you do and may also appear less excited at times. Be patient – go have your fun and your partner will join in! 
  • Don’t force your partner to participate in activities – Your partner dislikes being constantly on the go and is tired out if he/she is thrown into a lot of activities. 
  • Don’t neglect things you’ve committed to do – You may not be the most organised, but there is still a need for follow-through. A mutual lack of planning can result in life getting out of control for both of you. 
  • Try not to neglect your partner – In the midst of your hustle and bustle, remember to check on your partner, who is not always keen on verbalizing his/her needs.
Reaching out to the ESFP as an INFP
  • Engage your partner with high energy – Your partner might find your mellow side hard to understand. Engage your partner by increasing your energy and warmth. 
  • Keep it light-hearted – Don’t be too serious with them at work or play. Your partner is at his/her best when things are easy-going, and everyone is having a good time. 
  • Do fun things together – The best way to engage your partner is to have fun activities together, especially outdoor social activities. 
  • Be sensitive to your partner’s feelings – While your partner may appear light-hearted and fun-loving, he/she is still sensitive to what people say. Be tactful about what you say to them. 
  • Give freedom – Avoid telling your partner what is right or wrong, but give him/her freedom to explore and try things out.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INFP – ESFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.