INFJ – INFP Relationship

INFJ - INFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INFJ - INFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INFJ - INFP relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other’s private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
  • In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties.
  • If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
  • Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another.
  • Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going. In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about.
  • Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough.
  • May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Both parties are attracted to each other’s warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.
  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other.
  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner’s needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.
  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.
  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.
  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions.


  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.


Here’s how INFJs and INTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INFJ as an INFP
  • Show interest in thoughtful questions – Your partner may find it hard to express their thoughts to you. You can help your partner by probing with thoughtful questions. 
  • Be patient with your partner’s explanation – When your partner is sharing with you, he/she may stumble trying to convert his/her complex thoughts to words. Be patient to listen. Clarify where necessary. 
  • Ask about your partner’s ideals – Your partner has a big vision or ideal he/she hopes to achieve in life. Ask your partner about it and find ways you can support him/her.  
  • Be more definitive in your answers – It would help your partner for you to be more definitive in your plans and schedules, so he/she have some certainty. 
  • Respect the need for harmony – At times, your partner may avoid you completely because of a conflict. Give your partner the time and space to find the words before meeting you to reconcile.
Reaching out to the INFP as an INFJ
  • Share openly – Your thoughts are complex even to your partner so it helps if you articulate it so he/she can understand. 
  • Don’t judge – While your partner is similar to you in personality, he/she may have very different beliefs and values. Find the commonality in the difference. 
  • Be supportive of your partner’s dreams – Your partner has dreams, like you. It may not be the same goals as you, but it’s important that you encourage the dreams. 
  • Talk about your growth plans – Sharing your growth plans will be inspiring or helpful for your partner, especially if your partner is feeling lost at the moment. 
  • Expect changes – Your partner is not the best with planning and may be late at times or mess up schedules or deadlines. Be patient with your partner in this area.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INFJ – INFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.