INFJ – ENTJ Relationship

INFJ - ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INFJ - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INFJ - ENTJ relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert.
  • Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants.
  • Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.
  • Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them.
  • Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask.
  • On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.
  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes.
  • They will also appreciate their partner’s ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top.
  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.
  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards.
  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.
  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.


Here’s how INFJs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INFJ as an ENTJ
  • Give your partner time to craft a response – If you want a quality response from your partner, give him/her time to reflect. Be patient listening and resist interjecting. 
  • It’s not what you say; it’s also how you say it – Your words may be construed by your partner as offensive or insensitive. Adopt a warm and encouraging way of saying something. 
  • Listen to your partner’s insights – Your partner has good insights, especially about people’s motivations. Listen carefully to glean insights to add to your own viewpoint.
  • Measure your pragmatism with the human factor – You are far more pragmatic than your partner. Talk about how your solutions or proposals impact people positively. 
  • Support your partner’s ideals – Your partner has ideals about the world. Instead of being critical or dismissive, learn about it and find ways to support your partner to achieve these ideals.
Reaching out to the ENTJ as an INFJ
  • Speak up – Your partner is likely to dominate the conversation. Speak up and make your thoughts known, no matter how stupid or incomplete they may sound in your head. 
  • Share your feelings – Your partner will have a hard time understanding your complex emotions. You have to be open about how you feel – you cannot expect him/her to connect the dots. 
  • Don’t take it personally – Don’t take your partner’s comments personally – It often isn’t meant to be personal. Take it objectively and try to remove emotion from it. 
  • Stand your ground by defending its logic – You have to defend your stand not with emotion or passion, but with logic. Your partner listens to reason. 
  • Focus on pragmatism – If you want to convince your partner, talk about how effective or efficient an approach is. Talk less about subjective aspects like values and your personal beliefs.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INFJ – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.