INFJ – ENFP Relationship

INFJ - ENFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section INFJ - ENFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INFJ - ENFP relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Are attracted by each other’s difference in energy levels. Extroverts appreciate the calm and steady demeanor of the Introvert, while Introverts enjoy the hearty and bubbly Extrovert.
  • Extrovert enjoys that there is an active listening ear in the Introvert, always ready to listen to his thoughts and rants.
  • Introvert enjoys that the Extrovert takes social leadership in most occasions, connecting them to new friends and people that they otherwise would be too shy to approach.
  • Extroverts, however, may find that the Introvert is too quiet and communicates too little with nothing to share. They may feel Introverts are boring, or just disinterested in talking to them.
  • Introverts may find that Extroverts are too loud and talk too much without listening to them. An Introvert may feel neglected and unheard by Extroverts because they will only share if asked – and Extroverts usually don’t ask.
  • On the weekends, Extroverts enjoy heading out for social activities or other high stimulation activities to relax while Introverts prefer staying home or at the most have some quiet activity with close friends. This difference in preference will sometimes lead to dissatisfaction.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Both parties are attracted to each other’s warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.
  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other.
  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner’s needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.
  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.
  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.
  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions.


  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.


Here’s how INFJs and ENFPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the INFJ as an ENFP
  • Be patient when listening – Give your partner time to process your many and varied thoughts, and when your partner is speaking, be patient. Resist the temptation to interject. 
  • Give them 1-1 time – Your partner enjoys the authentic 1-1 connection with people. Giving your partner this time will make him/her feel loved and understood. 
  • Follow through on your ideas – If you have committed to do something with your partner, follow through. Don’t back out just because something else catches your focus.
  • Respect the need for harmony – At times, your partner will defer opinion to yours not because he/she agrees, but he/she prefers to have interpersonal harmony. If you want real feedback, ask first before sharing your thoughts passionately. 
  • Give them time to adjust – Your partner is not as comfortable with changes as you are. If change is necessary, give your partner time and space to adjust.
Reaching out to the ENFP as an INFJ
  • Share openly – Your partner is highly social and usually talkative, and may not ask you the questions to get you to share your thoughts. Share your thoughts openly, no matter how incomplete or frivolous you think they are. 
  • Up your energy – Your partner may be easily distracted by their surroundings, so keep your communication sharp and energetic. Don’t digress. 
  • Let your partner dream – Your partner has many dreams and possibilities. You may personally think they are not feasible, but just let them ideate without criticism or feedback. 
  • Talk about your growth plans – Hearing your stories of challenge and growth will inspire your partner to pursue his/her dreams and act on them. 
  • Expect changes – Your partner is not a natural planner and nor is good at keeping to schedules, so expect some spontaneity. Be patient and don’t let it get on your nerves.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INFJ – ENFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.