ESTP – ENTJ Relationship

ESTP - ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ESTP - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESTP - ENTJ relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Introversion

Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.

Sensing-Intuition

Joys Struggles
  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.

Thinking-Thinking

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.
  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.
  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values.
  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.

Judging-Perceiving

Joys Struggles
  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.

 

Here’s how ESTPs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ESTP as an ENTJ
  • Don’t overpower with words – Your partner is likely not as good as you when it comes to words. Be patient when your partner is speaking; listen attentively and don’t interject. 
  • Keep it simple – You may tend to be use complex words or jargon at times. Be aware of this when communicating with your partner – keep it simple and easy to understand instead. 
  • Be comfortable with challenge – Your partner may challenge you on the logic of your ideas. Reinforce your argument with logical proof and verifiable data to convince your partner. 
  • Give freedom – Your partner likes the freedom of choice. As much as possible, don’t try to impose your ideas on your partner. Let him/her figure out when, what and how something is to be done. 
  • Give a call to action – There is little need to talk about big picture strategy. Give your partner actionable steps and to-dos and trust them to complete those tasks exactly as you intended.
Reaching out to the ENTJ as an ESTP
  • Don’t be afraid to speak up – Your partner’s opinions may seem very strong and overbearing at times, but it does not mean your opinion is not valid. Speak up and let him/her know your point too. 
  • Get to the gist – When you are explaining something to your partner, get to the gist quickly as your partner may be quite impatient when getting too much detail. 
  • Ask your partner to simplify it – If you don’t understand it, ask your partner to simplify it or use metaphors. Don’t be afraid to ask – a good communicator should be able to explain things simply. 
  • Conclude where possible – Don’t leave things open, your partner does not appreciate it and he/she will not hesitate to let you know too. Settle things quickly. 
  • Give them a deadline – If a conclusion is not possible at this stage, give your partner a deadline. It will give him/her a closure of sort.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESTP – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.