ESTP – ENFP Relationship

ESTP - ENFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ESTP - ENFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESTP - ENFP relationship has 2 preference similarities and 2 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.


  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.


  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.


Here’s how ESTPs and ENFPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ESTP as an ENFP
  • Don’t compete to talk with them – You are more likely to dominate a conversation. Get your partner to share and talk by asking questions and then listening patiently. 
  • Don’t be surprised by their scepticism – Your partner enjoys challenging new ideas; don’t be surprised by it but see if you garner new insights from this interaction. 
  • Keep things simple – Avoid using abstract theory or philosophies with your partner. Break it down into actionable steps and to-dos for your partner. Keep it plain and simple. 
  • Use objective logic – Using emotion and passion will not move your partner. Instead, use objective logic and tangible facts to back your case and convince your partner. 
  • Give freedom – Give your partner the freedom of choice for he/she doesn’t like feeling tied down or committed. Let your partner decide as and when, if possible.
Reaching out to the ENFP as an ESTP
  • Give your partner airtime – If you happen to be dominating the conversation, help your partner get into the conversation by poking fun or asking him/her a question! 
  • Focus on the gist – Your partner can be rather impatient if he/she has to sit through the details. Just tell your partner the gist of the issue and let him/her ask you questions if any. 
  • Be tactful – Your partner may get offended by your words. You don’t mean it, but it helps to be tactful and sensitive to their feelings. 
  • Indulge their ideas – Your partner loves talking about new ideas. Let him/her do it, without feeling like you’re going to challenge! This is your partner’s way of getting energy. 
  • Focus on people development Your partner may be excited by the prospect of helping people emotionally, spiritually or mentally. Talk about it more often!

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESTP – ENFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.