ESTJ – ENTJ Relationship

ESTJ - ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ESTJ - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESTJ - ENTJ relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Extroversion

Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.

Sensing-Intuition

Joys Struggles
  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.

Thinking-Thinking

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.
  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won’t have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.
  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict.
  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it.
  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values.
  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive.

Judging-Judging

Joys Struggles
  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.
  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes.
  • They will also appreciate their partner’s ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top.
  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.
  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards.
  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.
  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.

 

Here’s how ESTJs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ESTJ as an ENTJ
  • Give space for each other’s opinion – Although different, you and your partner are likely to have strong opinions about things. Listen patiently and refrain from interrupting your partner. 
  • Balance your strategy with specifics – Don’t just talk about the big picture strategy; break it down into the details like to-dos and actionable steps and discuss with your partner on those. 
  • Be patient with the details – Your partner may delve into the details when discussing a matter. Don’t interject but listen patiently and wait for your partner to get to the point. 
  • Give time to adjust – Your new ideas will not quickly sit well with your partner. If change is necessary, give your partner time and space to make adjustments. 
  • Show a track record – Your partner is more likely convinced if he/she can see a track record of past successes for your solution rather than having it only reinforced by logic.
Reaching out to the ENTJ as an ESTJ
  • Give each other time to talk – Both of you are opinionated and have a lot to say. Listen attentively when your partner is speaking, but also request for an uninterrupted time when you are speaking. 
  • Give the gist of the issue – Give the gist quickly and don’t talk about the details unless asked. Your partner is usually impatient and wants to get to the point quickly. 
  • Don’t be taken aback by the challenge – Your ideas are likely to be challenged by your partner. Don’t be taken aback but reinforce your ideas with logic and data. 
  • Focus on pragmatism – If you want your partner to be more receptive to a proposal, talk about why it is the most effective or efficient method to get to a mutually agreed goal. 
  • Don’t micromanage – Your partner wants independence fiercely and will do anything to protect it. Refrain from bossing your partner or micromanaging him/her.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESTJ – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.