ESFP- ENTJ Relationship

ESFP - ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ESFP - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESFP - ENTJ relationship has 1 preference similarity and 3 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.


  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.


  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.


Here’s how ESFPs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ESFP as an ENTJ
  • Don’t overpower with your words – You are likely better with your words than your partner. Don’t let them overpower your partner; instead, ask questions and listen patiently without interruption. 
  • Keep it simple – Don’t use complex jargon or terms to get your point across. Instead, break it down into its plain and simple form for your partner. 
  • It’s not what you say; it’s also how you say it – It’s not whether what you say is correct; it’s also how you are putting it across. Adopt an encouraging and affirming tone when engaging your partner. 
  • Don’t press for decisions – Your partner doesn’t like making premature decisions. Instead, give your partner flexibility to decide according to his/her schedule if possible. 
  • Give a call to action – Don’t need to talk about big plans or strategies with your partner. Focus on the immediate action to take and let your partner do it.
Reaching out to the ENTJ as an ESFP
  • Be calm and clear in your communication – If you were to raise an issue with your partner, try not to be too emotional because you may be dismissed as overreacting. Be calm and clear as you state your case. 
  • Finish on things you start – Your partner’s strong work ethic can cause him/her to have a dim view of what you consider as fun and relaxation. Learn to follow through on projects and try to finish on things you start, especially if they involve your partner. 
  • Compliment your partner on his or her achievements – Your partner is likely to place a high value on his/her professional achievements. By complimenting his/her professional endeavours and achievements, it can deeply encourage and give him/her strength to hustle hard. 
  • Inform your partner before changing plans – Your partner finds clutter and disorganisation very distracting and irritating. Try to inform them in advance before changing plans, give him/her enough time to be mentally prepared. 
  • Be prompt and be where you say you will be – Keep your promises and follow through with whatever you’ve committed to your partner, who has almost zero tolerance for frivolousness. Call them if you’re going to be late and show up at the time and place that you promised to.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESFP – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.