ESFP – ENFP Relationship

ESFP - ENFP Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ESFP - ENFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESFP - ENFP relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference difference. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Extroversion

Joys Struggles
  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.

 

Extroversion-Extroversion

Joys Struggles
  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.
  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions.
  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense.
  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.
  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.
  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. – This may lead to different conclusions with available information.
  • Sensors may find Intuitives’ lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don’t understand why Intuitives are always ‘in their heads’, pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household.

 

Feeling-Feeling

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties are attracted to each other’s warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.
  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other.
  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner’s needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.
  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.
  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.
  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions.

Perceiving-Perceiving

Joys Struggles
  • Both parties enjoy being spontaneous to changing circumstances and keeping their options open without seeing the need to come to a decision.
  • Both tend to be okay with going with the flow; for the most part, daily decisions like eating locations or recreational activities are decided on a whim. Little conflict over these issues.
  • Both parties are comfortable with disorganization in the household; the household will probably be messy, and both are perfectly fine with it.
  • Both parties tend to be less consistent in performing routine household tasks like cleaning the house, doing the laundry and paying the bills.
  • However, since these activities are a necessary evil, the partner that tries to do these tasks consistently may feel frustrated and maybe resentful.
  • Also, because both parties want to keep their options open, they are likely to procrastinate making important decisions, sometimes even pushing it away until they make none.

 

Here’s how ESFPs and ENFPs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ESFP as an ENFP
  • Don’t compete to talk – Give each other equal airtime, and refrain from cutting in or interrupting your partner. Ask your partner genuine questions to invite him/her to speak. 
  • Keep things simple – Don’t talk about big ideas or theories with your partner. Instead, keep it simple, plain and dealing with real issues. 
  • Give actionable steps – Break down the big picture or the vision into actionable steps or a to-do list. 
  • Be sensitive about your partner’s feelings – While your partner enjoys being the butt of jokes, be aware of his/her feelings. Sometimes you may unintentionally say 1-2 things that offend your partner unknowingly.
  • Give freedom – Your partner wants freedom of choice. Don’t tie your partner down to any commitments or schedules as your partner is likely to change it.
Reaching out to the ENFP as an ESFP
  • Resist pointing out why he/she is unrealistic – Your partner’s ideas may seem wildly impractical to you at times, but when that happens, give his/her ideas a fair hearing before revealing your take in a loving manner. 
  • Don’t tell your partner that he/she is worrying endlessly – Try not brush off your partner’s concerns and provide emotional support by hearing him/her out. Listen attentively when your partner does so, instead of telling him/her to stop worrying too much. 
  • Be willing to have deep conversations – You are easily bored by abstract ideas and conversations, but your partner is likely to possess innate ability to grasp complex issues. Learn to participate in deep conversations even if you don’t particularly enjoy them. 
  • Compliment his/her ability to see possibilities – One of the most striking traits of your partner is the ability to see possibilities that most people are unable to. Complimenting your partner on his/her imagination is a huge morale booster. 
  • Spend quiet moments in relaxation together – Take time off work for some fun and common therapeutic activities where you both can slow down, share your feelings and strengthen your emotional connection.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESFP – ENFP relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.