ENFP - ENFJ Relationship

ENFP - ENFJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ENFP - ENFJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ENFP - ENFJ relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Both parties are attracted to each other’s warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other’s needs.
  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other.
  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner’s needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.
  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.
  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.
  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions.


  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger’s opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.
  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers – something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.
  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything – something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.
  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness – Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.
  • Perceivers may find Judgers’  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom.
  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don’t like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger’s eyes) – this of course drives Judgers crazy.
  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver’s lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver’s life as a result – this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate.


Here’s how ENFPs and ENFJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ENFP as an ENFJ
  • Be honest and open – Do not avoid confrontation when things bother you. Talk to your partner about it nicely, instead of always trying to look like you’re alright with everything. 
  • Tame your tongue – Whenever your partner shares something with you, resist the urge to express your likes and dislikes immediately. Learn to temper your strong opinions. 
  • Embrace spontaneity – Be willing to change plans or leave things unfinished from time to time, so you can participate in the spontaneous adventures that your partner suggests. 
  • Hear your partner out – Listen to your partner’s many ideas with enthusiasm and full attention, even if you feel that they may not work. Do not point out the loopholes in the plans right away. 
  • Spur your partner on – Encourage your partner to pursue interests and establish strong and meaningful relationships within his/her social circles. Your partner thrives on staying connected to things and people!
Reaching out to the ENFJ as an ENFP
  • Give each other time to share – Give each other time to give your insights – be careful not to dominate the conversation. 
  • Give your partner time to express complex insights – Give your partner some time to formulate his/her thoughts into words, don’t interject and let your partner find a way to express it.
  • Appreciate their need for harmony – Your partner tends not to say things that may injure relationships. Give your partner assurance that his/her words will not hurt you personally. 
  • Don’t leave things without a conclusion – Don’t leave things open and unsettled; it makes your partner uncomfortable. 
  • Talk about humanitarian aspects – Talking about how a project or idea can positively impact people; it makes your partner more receptive to embrace the idea.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ENFP – ENFJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.