ENFJ - ENTJ Relationship

ENFJ - ENTJ Relationship

Joys and Struggles

This section ENFJ - ENTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ENFJ - ENTJ relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:


  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.
  • They will likely enjoy each other’s energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together.
  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need.
  •  Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.
  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.
  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.


  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other.
  • Both tend to enjoy each other’s uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.
  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.


  • Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler’s compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
  • Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.
  • The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.
  • Thinkers may hurt Feelers with their straightforward and sometimes tactless words; Feelers tend to take words personally; so when the Thinker provides negative feedback, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from the Feeler.
  • Thinkers may not understand the Feeler’s desire for harmony and hence avoidance of conflict. Thinkers often misinterpret Feeler’s behavior and deem them complicated.
  • Feelers also tend to show affection much more naturally and sometimes they may feel their Thinking counterparts don’t show enough of it; they may feel unfulfilled in the relationship.


  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.
  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes.
  • They will also appreciate their partner’s ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top.
  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together.
  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards.
  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.
  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options.


Here’s how ENFJs and ENTJs can relate to each other better:

Reaching out to the ENFJ as an ENTJ
  • Give your partner space to share – Be careful not to be too forceful or opinionated about your views. Instead, ask questions and wait patiently for your partner to share. 
  • Be encouraging and affirming – Your communication may not get through because of the way you are saying something. Adopt an encouraging and affirming way of saying it. 
  • Give them time to adjust to your plans – You may have a clear objective how you want to achieve your goals but give your partner time to make adjustments if changes are required on his/her part. Be patient. 
  • Talk about how your proposal helps people – Your proposal or ideas will be more accepted by your partner if you talk about how it can help others achieve their potential. 
  • Give independence – Your partner may be just as capable as you are in executing on tasks. Give your partner space to lead and take charge; don’t infringe on that space.
Reaching out to the ENTJ as an ENFJ
  • Be direct in your communication – If you were to confront or make a statement to your partner, it is important to be consistent in your positions, while maintaining a clear and direct stance. 
  • Say how you feel and what you need – Your partner tends to perceive information objectively; hence you do not have to worry about hurting his/her feelings by speaking the truth when you have to. 
  • Don’t take things too personally – Constructive criticism is how your partner shows concern. Instead of being hurt and offended, remember your partner does so to meet your needs and solve your problems logically. 
  • Ask your partner for advice – Your partner is most loved and appreciated when someone asks for his/her opinion and adopts his/her often brilliant suggestions. Consult your partner if you are stuck in a rut and listen respectfully to the suggestions. 
  • Encourage your partner to pursue his/her interests – Having a partner who respects and appreciates his/her competence, intelligence, and effectiveness is something that your partner would love. Be supportive of their endeavours and encourage them to pursue their dreams.

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ENFJ – ENTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.