Are you frustrated in your relationship with your partner at times?
Yes, you love each other above all else. But there are some days where these differences simply get on your nerves and you end up with in a seemingly needless quarrel with your partner.
You say something with no ill intention at all and your partner totally misinterprets your words; you guys end up in a quarrel and the night just ends badly.
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You might be thinking that your partner needs to change. My partner has inclinations or behaviors that are 'unhealthy' and he/she needs learn how to overcome these 'problems'.
Or you might even be thinking that you need fixing! You have a problem that nobody can handle, including your partner, and you got to do something about it!
Yes of course, all of us can improve in one way or another. But what if the answer is neither of the above?
What if you were just... different?
In more ways than you can imagine, you are different. You are a unique individual that is unlike any other person.
Every time you think you understand someone else, something happens to make you think twice.
In my experiences teaching personality and individual differences, I have seen more than my fair share of people who acknowledge intellectually that people are different, but when it comes to practice, they really think that "my way is the ONLY way."
Well of course, nobody says that blatantly, but when people say these things:
These particular remarks point to the fact that the person making these remarks does not fully comprehend and embrace other ways of thinking/acting/behaving but their own. What they're really saying is:
"A normal person like me can let go and forget about the incident. Why can't she?"
"A person like me listens and talks in moderation. Why can't this person be like me?"
"I'm a very tactful person. I don't understand why he can't be like me?"
You and I are guilty of such thoughts.
We somehow unconsciously believe that everyone is wired to think and act like us, and therefore we find it hard to understand why others behave so differently.
“But is it possible that this person thinks, acts and behaves differently from you?” I would ask in response. The answers are usually: “He’s got a problem he needs to fix.” or “Maybe. But he still needs to do something about it.”
Having counselled couples, I can safely say that 70-80% of people do not fully appreciate individual differences. While you may acknowledge individual differences in your head, you find it extremely hard to actually embrace that difference.
In most friendships, if you didn't like a person's actions or behavior, you would simply back off from them. “I just can’t get along with them,” is the usual unspoken conclusion.
With friends, this is usually without consequences. You just wipe your hands off, head off into the sunset and never see this person again.
But what if this person was your partner? What if you guys are meant to walk through life together?
Then you simply cannot walk away, can you?
The interesting thing about romantic relationship is that the very differences that attract you to your partner are the very same source of conflict!
You liked her bubbly and outgoing nature? Well now you're getting frustrated by her needing to go out every weekend!
You enjoy his brilliance and insightful thoughts? Well, now you're getting a headache from his philosophies and deep thoughts about life.
Yes, Opposites DO attract.
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The adage 'opposites attract' is true. People do fall in love with people with complementary opposite personalities of them. But what they didn't tell you that your opposites will make you irritated and frustrated as well!
The thing is: once a couple gets into a romantic relationship, because you simply cannot walk away from each other easily, so you unconsciously start on a secret project.
What.. what secret project?
A secret project to make your partner more like you... and yes, you're doing it. Unconsciously. If you said any of those things below, you have at some point, worked on this secret project:
“Why can’t you be more responsible?”
"Can you just chill and relax about things?"
“Why do you need to stay at home all the time?”
"Can you stop meeting every single person every weekend, don't you need to rest?"
“Can you not be so emotional about everything and just look at things logically?”
"Can you be more sensitive and tactful with your words? You're so offensive!"
If you said any of these, or implied any of these, you're in fact on this secret project.
This secret project, however, is the source of many conflicts.
To you, there’s only your way of doing life, and your partner needs to get it right in order not to face his/her ‘issues’. – It is precisely this thinking that causes relationships to get into bad conflicts, and in worst cases, break up.
But there is a way.
There is a way to understand your partner meaningfully. I have to emphasize the word ‘meaningfully.'
Understanding that your partner enjoys going to the movies, or the Walking Dead series is good, but its not meaningful.
Understanding that your partner likes to sleep on the left side of the bed, squeezes toothpaste from the tube bottom-up is amusing, but not meaningful.
Understanding your partner’s thinking process – that’s useful and meaningful.
Understanding your partner’s decision-making process – that’s useful and meaningful.
In fact, this is what the study of personality and individual differences can do for you and your partner.
The Relationship Success Workshop uses the framework of MBTI© to help partners understand each other meaningfully. Whether you are a newly attached couple, newly wed or just a couple who’s been together for a period, this course will benefit you and your partner greatly.
You will understand how differently you:
These four areas may seem too apparent to you (all I have to do is ask her/him), but when you actually discuss these with your partner with the MBTI© framework, you will find how much of a revelation this will be for both of you!
Through this workshop, you will discover how differently you and your partner actually are.
But not just that, it is a form of non-judgmental kind of difference; there is no better or worse personality – you will learn that your partner has their own unique set of strengths and weaknesses.
Through this, you can and will truly appreciate and embrace the unique individual that is person you fell in love with.
But not only that, you will understand how you and your partner interact uniquely. Every combination of relationship displays a unique dynamic and its set of challenges.
If you’re an ENFJ, how will you interact with an INTP partner?
How do you guys complement each other?
What are the challenges that you'll be facing in romance? In marriage?
This workshop will answer these important questions for you.
The ultimate aim of this workshop is to build stronger, more satisfying relationships.
With the MBTI© serving as a bridge for your communication gaps, you will start to resolve conflicts and differences more constructively without all the condemnation or judgment.
I have no doubt that a pre-marriage course or a relationship workshop is important to you succeeding in your relationship. There is a place for those courses as well.
But this is not a pre-marriage course or a workshop about generic relationship principles.
Most marriage courses will talk about how men behave in one way, and how women behave in another way. To me, that's a little bit of a stereotype. Even between men, there can be vastly different spectrum of behaviors. This workshop goes beyond that.
This is a course tailored to meet your relationship's specific needs. You interact with your partner in a way that most people don't, and you need to know how to navigate those waters in your unique way.
In this workshop, you will learn exactly how unique you and your partner will interact with each other and take note of advice specific to your relationship, based on you and your partner’s personality type.
An ESFJ/INFP relationship will have vastly different relationship challenges from an INFJ/ISFJ relationship.
An ESFP/ISFJ relationship dynamics will differ from both as well.
Because these dynamics are so different, we simply cannot use a blanket approach to looking at all relationships.
You will receive unique, tailored knowledge for your relationship about things you can do to improve your relationship with one another.
This workshop will be held
over 3 hours from 1030 am – 130pm in on the 18 April 2015.
Couples are highly encouraged to attend the course together. The workshop fee is $40 per person. Lunch and a workbook will be provided as well.
Fill in the registration form below and make a payment of SGD$20.00 via Paypal, Debit or Credit Card to secure your place!
The balance of SGD$20.00 will be paid on the actual day.
Do note that we have limited seats as I want to keep this session intimate. So sign up now while you can!
*Please note that your attendance will only be
confirmed AFTER you make payment in the next page.
Ethan Lin Yihan
This course is brought to you by:
Ethan Lin is a personable, engaging and inspiring speaker, author and expert in Personality Types. He is the founder of the website Personality-central.com, a web portal about personality types, communication and self-development with over a thousand daily visitors. He has spoken, inspired and empowered audiences ranging from 10 to 300 people to use personality as a tool to increase their effectiveness and communication skills. He has also written a book on leadership “Everyday Leadership – Cultivating the 6 Attributes of Leadership in your life”.
The program was really interactive, funny and insightful! Great insights into the conflicts a couple can have with differing personalities (comes with solutions too, thank God!). So glad to attend with my boyfriend!
- Eunice Ang, HR Executive
I appreciate the clarity & depth in analyzing relationships between different MBTI© types. The workshop has given me a new perspective & insight into the minutiae of relationship management & conflict resolution. Ethan was very clear & helpful, especially with the Q&As. He's open and very willing to share his experiences with us. Thanks!
- Amanda Tan, Pharmaceutical Executive
Learning personality Types from Yihan has been enriching, it allows me to better understand my shape as a person. This would help me in recognising who I better work with and how I can better manage the way I handle situations since I am aware of how I would view a situation as a senser. He has taught me how to work around with my personality to achieve better end result be it in solving problems, planning events, working in an organisation. - Low En Yun, Nurse
I enjoyed the interaction session during the workshop between two different personalities. It was very intriguing and interesting to hear two extreme responses with the same question. I have learned to be more aware about different personalities and to begin to understand some expectations of what the other personality is going to response.
- Eric Chang, Interior Designer
The testimonials are countless, but the results are undeniable. Understanding how people are different will change the way you see the world forever. Don't wait anymore. Sign up today!
*Please note that your attendance will only be
confirmed AFTER you make payment in the next page.