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INFJ in love

INFJs are warm and supportive partners who are complex and insightful. As partners, they are affirming and encouraging, always believing in the best in their partners. They are idealistic, wanting to bring out the best in their partners and themselves. Once they have chosen to give their heart to their partners, they are committed to achieving the ideal relationship.

This idealistic nature of the INFJ can work for them or can work against them in relationships. For one thing, they will expect a lot out of themselves, sometimes even perfection, but they can have the unrealistic expectations of their partners as well. This nature can cause both parties to work toward a collective vision, or it can make the other party feel suffocated with the pressure to live up to such seemingly unrealistic expectations. For this same reason, many INFJs may choose to remain single, seeing that no one around them can meet those high expectations.

Loving their Partners

As partners, INFJs make great listeners. Because of their insightful nature, they often understand their partners rather well, and their partners who pour their hearts out to them can often feel heard and understood. INFJs are also articulate people, able to help their partners who are distressed or confused to verbalise their thoughts and help them find clarity. Their greater strength, however, is in the written word. They are usually able to express themselves much better in writing.

INFJs value harmony with their partners and tend to be agreeable and accommodating to them. Although INFJs do have an opinion about many things, they tend to seek for points of agreement with their partner before discussing any possible differences. They may also tend to avoid conflict for the same reason. INFJs should learn to speak their minds more often when they feel they’ve been slighted or offended instead of harbouring the resentment.

However, when it comes to matters about their personal beliefs and ethics, INFJs will stand firm. They believe their ideals and sense of right and wrong is the correct one and therefore be unwilling to compromise. These values, however, tend to be subjective so some partners may deem their firmness to be stubbornness and inflexibility. 

INFJs felt most loved and appreciated when their partner encourages their dreams, creativity, and their vision for a better world and show respect for their deeply held values. They tend to be less concerned about tangible acts of love like acts of service or gift giving but will respond to someone who shows genuine interest in understanding their often spiritual hearts. Likewise, they want their partners to avail themselves emotionally to them and share themselves completely.

When it comes to finances, INFJs are moderately good at managing them. Some INFJs who feel that their monetary status is an important factor in achieving their ideals or goals will spend more time budgeting and recording their finances. However, most INFJs have little care for money; preferring to spend their lives pursuing a humanistic vision. Hence, they prefer not to focus on the day-to-day details about spending money, but instead focus their hearts and minds on achieving those ideals.

The Ideal Partner?

According to Keirsey’s Temperament Theory, the ideal partner for the INFJ is the ENTP, whose energetic, tough-minded and spontaneous nature complement the INFJ well in a relationship.