ESTJ vs ISTJ
Here’s how you can connect with your friend better:
Give time for reflection
Give your friend ample time to think thoroughly before giving you a response. Be patient and don’t interrupt the silence.
Don’t press for answers
Similarly, don’t press your friend for answers prematurely. Your friend hates it when he/she does not have sufficient time to think about a problem.
Balance listening and speaking
Your friend likely prefers not to speak up and rather listens to the ongoing conversation. If you want him/her to offer input, ask the question and wait for the response.
Your friend has a high need for solitude and works best alone. Give your friend a period of time without interruption to execute the given tasks.
Allow time to adjust
Change is very uncomfortable for your friend who prefers tradition. If change is necessary, give your friend advance notice to make adjustments.