Distinguishing ENFP and ENFJ


Ethan Lin


This section Distinguishing ENFP and ENFJ is to help users of the personality test verify their type in case they are unsure after doing the personality test and reading the profiles of both types.


ENFPs and ENFJs are very similar personalities. According to David Keirsey’s Temperament Theory, both the ENFP and the ENFJ belong to the Idealist (NFs) type personality.


However, there are still subtle differences that can help you distinguish the two personalities.


ENFPs are more likely to be energized by new ideas and projects than ENFJs.

ENFPs are energized by possibilities and are often seen starting new projects or ideas like learning a new instrument or starting a new business. ENFPs may start many of them, but once they lose the energy that was sparked off by a new idea, they tend to lose interest and move on to the next thing.


ENFJs tend not to have the same behavior. While they enjoy ideas and possibilities as well, they are less prone to starting new enterprises on a whim. Usually, they will consider many other factors as well and will seem to keep more focus than the ENFP.


ENFJs are often gravitate to jobs or careers requiring use of their strong language skills whereas ENFPs often gravitate to jobs that empower or develop people.

Most ENFJs (not all of them) possess strong language skills. One will normally find them in a media-related industry or a job that requires them to use their speaking and writing skills like hosting, public relations, corporate communications and other similar roles. They are precise with their language and tend not to allow themselves to say unnecessary fillers.


ENFPs tend to be more spontaneous in their use of language. They don’t have the same discipline in its use and therefore may use fillers or may speak much more than what is necessary.  They also tend to gravitate to jobs that allow them to empower or develop people like human resource, corporate training, personal coach and other similar roles.


ENFJs are more likely to be deemed to be overbearing than ENFPs.

ENFJs can be very opinionated once they decide on something. They have clear expectations of themselves and others and do not hesitate to tell others about these expectations. As a result, others can view them as overbearing.


ENFPs can be just as opinionated about issues that they believe in; however, they tend to live by ‘to each his own’. They want others to respect their opinions, and they reciprocate by respecting the opinions of others. They find it acceptable to agree to disagree.


These differences should be sufficient for distinguishing ENFP and ENFJ. While there are other more subtle differences, the above-mentioned points are the most observable differences in behaviour.


Distinguishing ENFP and ENFJ

7 Things INFJs want you to know about Them


Ethan Lin


Curious about INFJs? Here are 7 things INFJs want you to know about them – INFJs are the rarest personality type out of all the sixteen. Because they are so complex and rare in numbers, they are often misunderstood.


In truth, INFJs are awesome people. They strive to make a positive impact on those around them and are always trying to help others in any way. They are naturally a calm and sincere connector, and attract others to them because of their sensitivity to the feelings of those around them.


We wanted to take an in-depth look at what it’s like to be an INFJ. To do that, we’ve compiled some common things that every INFJ wishes they could share so that you can understand their unique personality. After all, they aren’t people that like to explain themselves all the time.


“Sometimes I forget to take care of myself.”


Because I am constantly looking to protect the feelings of others and take care of those around me, I can sometimes forget about my own needs.


I can even feel guilty when my life is doing fine and someone I love is going through a hard time.


As such, I can sometimes get burnt out because I don’t make time for myself, which is why I need to be reminded by those who love me to take care of myself.


“I believe I can make a change in the world.”


I see so many negative things going on in the world, and I feel deeply about them. Sometimes, I think the world is so corrupted and evil and I don’t know how to start to change it.


But I want to right them. I want to right all the wrongs in the world. I want people to feel loved and accepted no matter who they are.


“I have a hard time opening up.”


I find it hard to share things about myself. Honestly, I don’t know why – perhaps I don’t want people to be burdened with my thoughts and feelings.


However, I’m more than happy to hear about you, and what you’re going through. I want to bear that burden with you.


“I can be picky.”


I can be picky in all aspects of life, including in finding a romantic partner.
Some may call me a “perfectionist,” and I have a hard time settling for anything less than I think I deserve. This is my way protect my heart from being hurt.


“I tend to have extremes.”


I live on two ends of the spectrum. I’m either extremely passionate about something or I’m completely indifferent.


I believe that life is about doing things you love, enjoy and care about. And for those that I do, I always give 101% to them. For those I don’t, I tend not to give mind to it.


Of course, if work requires me to be responsible, you’ll be sure I’m on it. Responsibility weighs high in my value scale.


“I stand behind my values.”


I know what I believe, and I stand strongly behind my values. I am not easily swayed and usually not open to changing those beliefs. Don’t try to change how I think – you’re likely not to succeed.


“I feel things deeply.”


I feel deeply, meaning it can take me a long time to forgive and forget.


Sometimes, if I am hurt very badly, I will turn away from that person or relationship permanently to protect my heart and feelings.


Are you an INFJ? If so, did this article accurately describe you?


Are you great friends with an INFJ? Did this article describe your friend well?


Leave your thoughts on the comment box below.

5 Best Dating Spots for INFPs in New York City


Ethan Lin


The INFP personality type is one of a kind and is known for being an idealist personality. They are intuitive, dreamers, mediators; they have their moral codes and are a rare type that only a few individuals possess.


But some of the main things one should know when dating an INFP is that they like private dates, or those with their close friends. Parties or big gatherings with strangers are usually not their cup of tea.


But what happens if you’re an Introvert in one of the most metropolitan cities in the world? The whole of New York City looks bustling and alive with activity – where can an Introvert like the INFP go to ‘hide’ in a city like that?


Here is a guide for five best dating spots for INFP:


1. Tentrr at Arlo SoHo

INFP dating spots NYC
Source: Metro US


The boutique hotel Tentrr situated at 231 Hudson Street consists of five large camps: two on the roof and three in the courtyard. It is a perfect place to spend some alone time with your partner in beautiful tents. Each tent is decorated impeccably.


There are also fake fireplaces, picnic tables, shot skis to give it an even more perfect look.

Good conversation, the hot toddies, enjoying a cup of coffee in Adirondack chairs is truly mesmerizing.



2. Mount Loretto Unique Area

Source: PP_jeh


Surprise your INFP love and take him/her to Staten Island (20 Kenny Road, Staten Island).

This place is secluded and a great spot for catching up with long chit chats or discussions and bird watching. It also has three hiking trails and each of its leads to a coastline, freshwater wetlands as well as grasslands that are all within city limits.


If you both dig a quiet and calm place, then congratulations! This should be your new favourite spot!



3. Wine Cellar

Source: TripAdvisor


Treat your date with an unforgettable, intimate dining experience at 21 West 52nd Street Wine Cellar.


If you both are INFPs, this place takes secrecy to another level. The dining room has an exquisite brick-wall door that was designed to be invisible.


Indulge in amazing American cuisine and top off your joy with great wines. You are likely to have a great time with your date as the two of you enjoy each other’s company during a guided tour of the actual cellar.


Some of the great Richard Nixon’s wines are still ageing there!



4. Central Park love notes

NY Dating INFP
Source: EdYourdon


This one just had to be in the list hands down!


Hold your partner’s hand and take a stroll around Central Park. Note that INFPs value close relationships and dating them mean you need to show that you care. In the case where you both are of the same personality type, this spot will make the two of you closer.


Conservatory Garden, Belvedere Castle, boat rides below Bow Bridge, and such all stands next to the Central Park as it is truly a magical place be its winter season, summer, fall or even spring.


There are 9000 benches in the park out of which 4500 have been engraved with memories of marriage proposals, love, anniversary in the form of figures and words. Till the two of you are getting there, this can be a romantic scavenger hunt and a great reminder that every city has a story and the story of NYC lies here! 



5. The Cloisters

Source: Christopher Down


The last best dating spot we’ve picked up for INFPs is The Cloisters which is an old monastery. It is situated at the upper Manhattan with great views from parks that were made from roaming and quiet neighbourhood.  But most importantly, it consists of artefacts and medieval art.


Beaches and pools are always crowded. The Cloisters, on the other hand, is extremely peaceful and should be a must visit spot in your list even in summers. The Cloisters highlights architecture and medieval art as the branch of The Metropolitan Museum of Art.


Go ahead and learn about the famed unicorn tapestries; have a look at the stained glasses, the museum’s collection of modern art and artefacts of Ancient Rome. It is a true opportunity to show and share your culture with the one you love.


Enjoy a small picnic with a drink in the medieval gardens or stop by a small eatery to share a cup of tea for a wonderful evening as your girl praises you for being a gem.






3 Things You Need to Know Before Dating an ENTP


Ethan Lin


So you’re dating an ENTP… and you might be having trouble reconciling the charismatic persona and the kinda irritating challenges that they put you through. Many people who date ENTP have the same experience.

They were attracted to their ENTP partner’s charisma and natural confidence around people. They think to themselves, “Wow, this is someone who’s sure of themselves! I sure can get with someone like that.”


Eventually, when they get together, they see another side of the ENTP. They see the ENTP challenging their every thought or idea… they see their egos being smashed or quashed by the confident ENTPs, who don’t seem to care about their feelings.


Now, what’s really going through the ENTP’s mind? Are they really jerks or just simply who they are? Before we even get to the level of trying to understand these enigmatic characters, here are a few survival tips on dating ENTPs:


Give them space to pursue their interests

ENTPs are hyped up by new ideas – and put all their energies into a brilliant idea to make it happen. Sometimes they make sure it comes to pass, while often times, before they finish, another idea catches their attention.


As someone dating them, it’s important that you encourage those dreams; don’t be a wet blanket and tell them it won’t work. In fact, if you do, they’re more than likely to prove you wrong, and they’ll feel you don’t support or love them.


So, take an interest in those ideas, and then if you’re the planning type, you can even support them by putting all these ideas into a concrete action plan. In the end, most of these ideas probably wont work out, but for the ones that work out often make them good money or give them high achievement.


Get used to the challenges


ENTPs are smooth talkers and quick thinkers. They like examining multiple theories and then having a discussion with their partners about it. It may look like they’re irritating you or trying to force you into a conflict, but really, they just want someone to indulge their ideas with.


If you are someone who can engage them intellectually, then even better. ENTPs love interacting with intellectual people and they find it a turn on to have a debate with one.


Feel free to criticize their ideas, and remember its not personal. Don’t make it so. It’s never about you or him, most of the time it’s about the idea. While they like debate, they hate emotional conflicts, which they deem to be illogical and pointless.


Be ready to grow with them

If you want a long-term relationship with an ENTP, be ready to grow with them.


ENTPs are always seeking ways to improve themselves and their standard of living. They will pursue new ideas, new learnings, new education just so that they can be a better version of themselves. They will appreciate a partner who is growth-oriented too, and will join the ENTPs on the journey of becoming better.


Stagnation, to them, is a curse. They dislike people who get so comfortable with life and do not seek for more. If they are in a relationship with a stagnant person, after a while, breaking up comes into their mind.


Another way they show their desire to improve is their natural need to be brutally honest with people. If you’re dating an ENTP, you must be secure enough in yourself to be able to take the criticisms from ENTPs. It is often helpful, if you want to be a better person, but if you’re not secure, you’ll find those words offensive or hurtful.


Learn more about the ENTP


These are just some simple tips that will keep the relationship with the ENTP going. However, if you’re getting serious with him/her, then it’s time for you to explore deeper understanding about them here.




Intimate Love Relationships


Ethan Lin


Understanding your partner and loved ones.

This section Type and Relationships will help you understand how your personality relates to others as a spouse, love and parent. There is also a bonus section where you can find out how particular personalities relate to each other in a love relationship.



We are more different than we know.

More often than not, we cannot comprehend the difference in values and beliefs or another person and therefore expecting the other person to think from our perspective.


These differences become even clearer in a romantic relationship. The greater the level of intimacy, the more pronounced the differences. This is the reason why there are so many conflicts and arguments the closer two people get.


In reality, most of these conflicts stem from personality differences. The question “why can’t you think and act like me?” is the hidden root of every argument on differences.


If we could understand personality, we could bridge these differences and pave the way for profound mutual understanding and respect.


Check your personality against your partner’s!


In this section, you can find out how your personality will interact with your partner’s personality!


(If you are not clear about your personality, go to Free Personality Test to get your 4 letter Type!)


While these descriptions are generalizations (i.e they may not all apply to your relationship), you will find it extremely helpful to understand the likely nature of conflicts in your relationship!


Choose your Type, and then choose your partner’s Type in the drop-down boxes below!


Select your type from the Type and Relationships Table below:

Strength Based Leadership


Ethan Lin


Leading Self and Others

This section Type and Leadership is about the application of personality types in leadership and management, in particular, 4 key functions of leadership: Self leadership, setting the vision, connecting with others and accomplishing of goals.


Self Leadership

  • The most important person leaders need to lead are themselves. Without self-awareness or self-discipline, a leader will find it hard to lead others. Learn how each personality practices self-leadership.


Setting the Vision

  • One of the most important leadership competencies is to set a direction for the organization to follow. Learn the language of each personality in setting visions.

Connecting with Others

  • Leaders need to know how to win people over to them; connecting with people is one of the key skills of a leader. Find out how each leader connects with their team.


Accomplishing of Goals

  • Setting a vision and building connections is nothing without proper execution. Understand each type’s strengths and weaknesses in execution and the accomplishing of goals.

Each of the sixteen types also has a unique path for leadership development. In each of the sixteen types, I give suggestions and tips for further development as well.


Click on the personality type you would like find out more about:

Personal Growth


Ethan Lin


This section Type and Development talks about the developmental path of each of the 16 personality types as well as suggesting possible growth paths for each of them.


With the understanding of type comes the understanding of strengths and weaknesses of each personality. The tendency for us is to focus on the weaknesses and consider how we can develop them to become a more whole personality; in fact, with that understanding we might even impose certain expectations on other personalities, expecting them to work on those areas they are weak in.


However, it is actually counterproductive and may hurt someone’s development if premature development of the weaker areas is demanded of any personality.


Click below to read more about the developmental paths of each personality:

Type and Development:
The 4 Mental Functions

Personality theory talks about the 4 mental functions being used in hierarchy in any person’s life; namely, the Sensing, Intuition, Thinking and Feeling functions. All of us use these functions, but not with equal comfort.


The level of comfort each personality uses each of these functions is put in a hierarchy.


  • The DOMINANT FUNCTION is the first and strongest mental function of an individual. This dominant function is developed the earliest in an individual’s life from birth to teen-hood. As a result, the dominant function is being used more frequently and therefore with the greatest comfort.


  • The AUXILIARY FUNCTION is the 2nd strongest mental function of an individual.  This auxiliary function is like a support to the dominant function. This function is developed from teen-hood onwards to around 30 years old. Society often categorizes the change in behaviour and orientation in teenagers as rebellion or identity crisis; but often are teenagers exploring their auxiliary function.

For most people, their dominant and auxiliary function will be well-developed by their late 20s to 30s. Their strengths and weaknesses are more pronounced by this time. That is when the need for development of the tertiary function comes.


  • The TERTIARY FUNCTION is the 2nd weakest mental function, and will usually develop from 30 years old to mid-life. It is a time of life where the individual feels their personal growth has plateau, and discovers the need to develop the tertiary function to become more complete.


  • The INFERIOR FUNCTION is the weakest mental function of the individual. In their youth, the inferior function often came out in uncontrolled, unexpected ways under stress. Through mid-life, individuals begin to feel the tension to learn more about this.

The goal of personality development is to help every person become a whole and complete individual.


A complete individual is one that uses each mental function appropriately as and when the situation calls for it. i.e When it is time to be merciful and caring, they do it. When it is time to be firm, logical and objective, they do it.

Click below to read more about the developmental paths of each personality:


Effective Communication


Ethan Lin


This section Type and Communication is about the ’16 different languages’ of the types and how to communicate more effectively with each type.

We all speak different languages. These languages are different because we have different values and beliefs, and they show themselves most evidently in our speech and communication.

Communication is the key to relationships.

Yet, because of our differences in personality type, we run into unpleasant obstacles when trying to express ourselves. Unnecessary misunderstandings and conflicts occur as a result of these failures in communication.


  • At work, you may even find it tough to understand your boss who seems to be so friendly and nice in a social setting, yet becomes an entirely different person at work.


  • At home, you have been married to your spouse for a decade now, but it seems like there’s still plenty of occasions where you misunderstand each other.


These misunderstandings is often the cause of our frustrations with people. So much unhappiness could be avoided if we simply knew how to speak each other’s language. Thankfully, personality type gives us a framework to do so.



Understanding different languages.

In this section, you will learn about the individual languages of the 16 types and understand how you can reach each type more effectively through tuning your language.

 Select your Personality Type

Successful Careers


Ethan Lin


Personality and Careers Finding the right job fit

This section Personality and Careers will help you understand your unique personality type’s favorite careers. 

Choosing a Job

Choosing a job can be a daunting task for most of us, and rightly so. A job is at least a year’s commitment, and for those who wish to build a career, it is a lifetime.


Your job is something you’ll be engaged in for practically most of your time. From 9am – 5pm daily, you will be on the job, solving problems, running projects, executing tasks related to your job and organisation.


If you find a job you love, well done. You will find purpose and fulfilment in what you do.


But for most of people, they find jobs that barely engage or energize them.


Perhaps they chose it because of the salary, location or working hours, but they didn’t choose it because it was something they would thoroughly enjoy.


As a result, most people may live their days just getting by, and not feeling that fulfilment that they crave from their job.


That’s why we need to understand something deeper about ourselves and our job preferences through the power of personality type.


Personality affects job preference.

Our personalities offer a great clue to what kind of jobs we will enjoy and what kind of jobs we dislike.


In this section, you will find out more about what kind of jobs your personality will enjoy the most. It will be an enlightening moment for you as you discover many more things about yourself that you never knew!


Select your type from the personality and careers table: