ISTJ Relationships

ISTJs are hardworking, dependable and persistent partners who are committed to making the relationship work. They are highly committed to the relationship and will do what it takes to make the relationship or marriage work. They take the “I do” at the marriage altar very seriously and consider the marriage covenant to define them and their partners as one family.

They are traditional and conforming to social norms. They remember important dates for the relationship like anniversaries, birthdays, first dates and so on; they see them as important milestones in a relationship that is to be celebrated or commemorated. They also would like their partners and children to prioritize these dates, and expect to see them around for these occasions.

In the household, they are organized and scheduled. They will have clear standards about how things should be done. For example, ISTJs are often clear about where the shoes should be placed, where the keys should be kept and what time is everyone expected for dinner. They expect their partner to follow these standards as well. Partners who are more spontaneous or disorganized may find this trait of the ISTJ to be suffocating at times, though most of them will appreciate the level of organization the ISTJ brings to the household.

When communicating with their partners, ISTJs tend to be to-the-point, logical and objective; sometimes to the point of being insensitive or blunt. They dislike talk about abstract theories and ideas, and prefer dealing with the practical and tangible affairs. Partners who are more imaginative and love big ideas may find the ISTJ a wet blanket.

ISTJs want to be appreciated by their partners for their practical contributions to the relationship and household. While they are happy to be working and providing behind the scenes, they want to know that their partners appreciate them for their sacrifice for the household. Their partner can appreciate them with cards, gifts or just a simple compliment about the work they’re doing for the family.

ISTJs have a challenge sharing their emotions with their partners. They are more versed in the use of logical, objective analysis of situations and tend to want to solve problems. They are not well-versed in their emotions, neither are they equipped to handle it in their partners. This will prove to be a challenge, especially for partners who desire the ISTJ understand their emotions and feelings.

ISTJs are also very good with their finances. They budget well for today’s needs and tomorrow’s commitments such as the housing loan, car loan, wedding, renovation. They are great savers as well, often opting to live a simple life and save their excess income instead of spending it on excesses. They are extremely careful with their money, considering possible options before deciding on one choice that provides them the maximum value for money. As such, ISTJs often have a lot of savings and will continue to have a lot of savings even into their old age.

According to Keirsey’s Temperament Theory, the ideal partner for the ISTJ is the ESFP, whose energy, bubbliness, and spontaneity will complement the ISTJ well in a relationship.

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