INTP Relationships

INTPs are independent, insightful and playful partners who are casual and spontaneous. Being insightful, they often have many original ideas and philosophies that they want to share with their partners; and they love an intellectual debate and discussion about those ideas.

 INTPs are tough-minded, critical and brilliant individuals who are creative problem solvers. Their partners will admire them for this brilliance. INTPs have the innate talent of spotting loopholes and recommending innovative solutions to solve those loopholes. However, they are not as enthusiastic in executing solutions as coming up with them. This is often a source of frustration for their partners, who may find that they give many ideas, but don’t seem to want to lift a finger to bring those ideas into reality.

Nonetheless, INTPs are very loyal and faithful partners. They take their marriage vows seriously and will do what it takes to provide for the family’s well-being. They have simple needs, not being interested in the material world of things as they rather expend their time and energy in the world of ideas. They are straightforward, frank and honest partners who desire just a simple love relationship without all the complications.

INTPs love to engage in intellectual discussions and debates with their partners. When they have an idea or a theory that want to ponder on, they love spending time discussing the ideas. If their partner stands on one side of a debate, the INTPs are inclined to stand on the other side of the argument in order to bring a well-balanced discussion of pros and cons. These type of discussion engages the INTPs thoroughly, and they appreciate a partner who can engage them at that level intellectually. However, not all their partners enjoy this type of discussion; many of the INTP’s partners view this as conflict and disagreement, and get frustrated with the INTP who always seems to ‘trigger’ these debates.

Although the INTP enjoys a partner who engages them intellectually, they tend to shy away when their partner wants to share emotions and feelings. INTPs find the world of emotions to be irrational and complex. They find it uncomfortable to explore their own emotions, much less deal with the emotions of their partner. Sometimes, they may feel helpless when their partner pours out their heart to them, choosing just to withdraw or offer an intellectual solution. 

The INTP’s primary interest in the world of ideas also means that they have little interest in performing daily tasks in the household. There is often neglect in running household duties like replacing a light bulb, buying the groceries, sweeping the floor, or cleaning the dishes. If given a choice, INTP rather not do these activities that they consider to be distractions from their world of ideas. The INTP’s partners may construe this as laziness, seeing the INTP as someone who seems to talk a lot about their ideas but not help out with the physical work required in the household.

INTPs feel most loved when their competence, ability to adapt and solve problems creatively is appreciated by their partners. They will also appreciate a partner who gives them the time and space to work on their pet projects or ponder ideas and theories about the deeper things in life. 

According to Keirsey’s Temperament Theory, the ideal partner for the INTP is the ENFJ, whose energetic, compassionate and stable nature complement the INTP well in a relationship.  

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