This section INTJ Communication is about how INTJs communicate.
This includes how they usually communicate with others, how you can reach an INTJ through speaking their language, what are some possible conflict points when working with INTJs, and some pointers on how INTJs can improve their communication style.
INTJs are independent, calm, tough-minded, task oriented individuals who are effective and efficient at their work. Generally self-reliant, they prefer to work independently.
Being comfortable with abstract ideas and concepts, they have deep insights and provide vision, possibilities and ideas for the future.
They use objective logical analysis to consider situations and to come up with future oriented, long range innovative solutions to current problems.
INTJs are also straightforward and matter of fact, preferring to get to the point quickly than to keep at small talk or social niceties.
When you are communicating with an INTJ:
- Get to the point
As mentioned, INTJs find social niceties tiring and troublesome, preferring to get to the task at hand. When you first communicate with an INTJ, explain the purpose of your communication and get to the task immediately.
INTJs see little need to build a personal relationship with you; without it they still can complete a task as effectively and efficiently.
- Ask for their insights
INTJs will keep their deep insights into particular situations to themselves unless they are asked or prompted to share. Often you might be surprised at the depth of their analysis of a situation, and sometimes it will expand your perspective of the same situation as well.
Learn to ask INTJs for their insights on a particular situation and allow them time to reflect upon it.
- Be ready for critique or challenge
INTJs critique and challenge everything they come across, refusing to take anything for granted. Be ready for them to challenge your thoughts and insights, understanding that it is not personal.
- Give information logically and objectively
INTJs evaluate information in an objective, logical process, and they usually do not consider emotional factors involved. When you are presenting information or attempting to convince them, refrain from using subjective factors like ‘I like’, or ‘it feels right’. Keep it objective with a cost-benefit analysis or a consideration of all logical consequences involved in a situation.
That said; let’s look at what will possibly cause conflict with an INTJ, and how you can avoid it.
- Dealing with emotional people
INTJs do not like dealing with the emotions of others all the time. They find the process tiring, irrational and frustrating at times because emotions can be illogical. When personal emotions are brought forth into discussion or work continually, it can cause conflict with INTJs.
As much as possible, keep work and personal emotions separate when dealing with the INTJ or when making decisions that involve the INTJ. Understand that they keep personal issues and work separate and appreciate when others do the same too.
- Being expected to justify their decisions all the time
INTJs often have hunches and an intuition about how a decision should be made or a task should be executed. This comes from their introverted intuition and is known by many as a ‘sixth sense’. They don’t know why something should be done a particular way or a decision be made, they just simply know it.
Sometimes they would be able to justify their decisions after reflection; but to continually expect INTJs to explain themselves would be a source of frustration and eventual conflict.
Allow INTJs to move and act according to their unconscious insights if possible; they just might surprise you.
- Having to work with incompetent or ‘slow’ people
INTJs are competent and insightful people who are quick to understand complex situations or concepts, and they find working with people who are slow or stubborn people whom they deem to be incompetent to be tedious.
Give INTJs roles that allow them to be independent of others if possible, or remind them to be patient with others’ thoughts and opinions.
If you’re an INTJ, consider these as avenues for development:
- Learn to offer positive feedback
While it is natural for you to critique and challenge, understand that not everyone sees debate as healthy for their work relationships.
If there is a real need to challenge, attempt to use more tactful words or learn to frame your challenge in a positive, forward-looking way.
Besides that, learn to be encouraging and offer positive feedback, even for small achievements achieved by the team. A thank you email or a simple act of kindness can go a long way to build an effective team.
- Share your insights with others
Keeping insights to yourself and working independently will often mean that you will face surprising opposition to your ideas. While you have already considered situations or decisions in depth in your mind already, understand that others have not made the ‘connections’ you have made.
In order to reduce resistance to your ideas, attempt to share them as you are forming these ideas and ‘baking’ them inside your head. As you include more people in this process, you will find more agreement toward your decisions.
- Provide concrete evidence and data when sharing your ideas
Understand that it is normal for people to ask for concrete data or evidence in response to your ideas or decisions, and they need to be convinced by these rather than to be inspired by a big vision.
Though it may seem troublesome for you to find such information to support your case, you will find that it is often effective in winning people over.
- Develop patience for other people’s sharing
Not everyone thinks or gains insight as quickly as you and you have to give these people time to share their opinions and information as well. Also, some people sometimes share their emotions and personal lives at work as well.
Develop patience by listening emphatically and not be so quick to offer solutions. Learn to ask open ended questions and allow others to share more information before coming to a conclusion or offering a solution.
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