INTJ Relationships

INTJs are brilliant, insightful but demanding partners. They are straightforward, tough-minded partners who demand excellence from themselves and their partners. They are not as keen to show their emotional side to anyone, including their partners and prefer to solve relationship problems with objective logic and reason. 

This strong nature of the INTJ works against them in relationships; their partners often want INTJs to show their emotional side and likewise deal with the partner’s emotions. However, INTJS tend not to know how to deal with them and often try to reason with their partners instead of empathizing with them. The INTJ’s inclination to solve problems instead of dealing with their partner’s emotions can become a source of frustration and possibly conflict in their relationship. 

INTJs enjoy creative and intellectual conversation with their partners; they love to talk about abstract theory, ideas and philosophies. They appreciate an intellectual equal to bounce their ideas off as these discussions engage them thoroughly. However, INTJs can push it a little too far sometimes if they expect their partners to engage them constantly at that level. Although INTJs feel these conversations are intellectually stimulating, their partners may view it as conflict and debate and prefer to avoid them. 

INTJs process information very quickly as well; before their partner suggests an idea to them, it is likely that would have already thought through the possibilities and will know whether it works or not. Hence, INTJs can appear impatient when listening to their partners at times, especially when their partners are sharing a problem with them. To the INTJ, the solution is already right on top of their mind, and they resent having to go through any further discussion for their partners to arrive at the same conclusion. However, INTJs have to learn the art of listening (or looking like they’re listening) if they want harmony and a little less conflict.

Being people who desire perfection, INTJs are constantly seeking ways to improve the relationship as well. They are all about effectiveness and efficiency about everything they do, and this includes their romantic relationships as well. They might suggest to their partners new arrangements or lifestyles in order so that they can have a higher quality of life and relationship. However, their partners may feel the pressure to change constantly and can lose the simple joy of having a love relationship. 

On the work front, INTJs are intelligent and capable. Hence, they always rise to leadership positions in the workplace; they usually make a good salary for the family and therefore the family seldom has to worry about finances. INTJs are interested in the world of finance and investing and therefore are usually astute investors as well.  As such, it is likely that a household with an INTJ will have more than sufficient finances. 

INTJs feel most loved when they are given the time and space alone to meditate, explore and develop their complex thoughts and ideas. Their partners can show that love too by listening and showing appreciation of the innovative solutions they bring to the household and reminding the INTJs that they’re competent and capable. 

According to Keirsey’s Temperament Theory, the ideal partner for the INTJ is the ENFP, whose energetic, compassionate and spontaneous nature complement the INTJ well in a relationship.  



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