Joys and Struggles

This section INTJ-INTJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The INTJ-INTJ relationship has 4 preference similarities and 0 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:



  • Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other's private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.

  • In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties. 

  • If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.

  • Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another. 


  • Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going. In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about. 

  • Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough. 

  • May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.



  • Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.

  • This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other. 

  • Both tend to enjoy each other's uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on. 

  • Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities.


  • However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected. 

  • Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.

  • The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.

  • A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.



  • Both parties enjoy the straightforward and frank communication styles; no emotional issues is brought into discussion and decision making.

  • As such, both find it easy to communicate with each other; they won't have to try to cushion their message or filter it; but can afford to be direct without being afraid of offending the other party.

  • In decision-making, both parties use a logical, objective analysis to access pros and cons. This same mode of decision-making will mean that they are less likely to come into conflict. 


  • While both are logical with one another, sometimes some romance and affection can liven up the relationship; both parties may have issues showing it. 

  • Because both use a logical and objective process in decision-making, they may have a blind spot in considering their personal values. 

  • Under stress, they may have an issue controlling their own emotions; sometimes this can lead to highly intense fights that are destructive. 



  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.

  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes. 

  • They will also appreciate their partner's ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top. 

  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together. 


  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards. 

  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.

  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options. 

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the INTJ-INTJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.

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