ESTP Relationships

ESTPs are energetic, spontaneous and playful partners who love to engage life fully as it comes. They see life as an adventure to be lived, and therefore are curious, fun-loving and even irreverent at times. As partners, they love trying anything and everything at least once, not wanting to lose out on any experiences that life has to offer them.

ESTPs want to live life to the fullest. As lovers, they are always looking out for new activities to engage in together with their partner. Whether it’s visiting a new amusement park or the latest concert by a celebrity, ESTPs want to live it all. This personality of the ESTP is fun, and spices up the life of their partner in a good way. 

However, ESTPs tend only to engage their partners at a more superficial level. They want to keep things simple and prefer not to go into the complex world of emotions and feelings, They are inclined to keep things simple, but sometimes oversimplifying things. This may frustrate a partner who mistakenly equates the ESTPs vigour for life to their desire to engage them emotionally. 

ESTPs can also be overly critical or frank with their partners; they tend to be straightforward and objective in their words. They may not give their partners the praise, affirmation and encouragement that their partners might need. In this area, ESTPs can learn how to speak words of affirmation and write love notes to encourage their partners at times. 

Being so playful and adventurous, ESTPs tend to resent anything that causes them to commit, including a long-term relationship. This is why ESTPs may find it hard to settle down with one single partner. They want to keep themselves free and open to anything life has to to offer, and hence they dislike anything that causes them to limit their options, including a life partner. This is why many ESTPs may move on from one relationship to another.

Partners of the ESTP can help them in this area by giving them more space and time to explore the opportunities that life is offering them. ESTPs greatly appreciate a partner that will give them to space to continue being curious and adventurous. In fact, they may appreciate it even more if their partners will join in their adventures. However, ESTPs do need to balance their desire for adventure with commitment to their responsibilities. 

ESTPs make great handymen in the household. They want to cook the meals, replace the lightbulb, and repair the washing machine, basically get their hands dirty. However, they don’t want to be pressured into doing them. They want to do it in their own time, as and when they feel like it. However, they are often so eager for new experiences that sometimes they do not follow through on present tasks or projects, thus disappointing their partners who are counting on them. 

When it comes to money, ESTPs are not very good stewards. Their desire for present pleasure and instant gratification may mean that they spend their money without considering future financial commitments like a wedding, housing loan, car loan or their kids’ education. ESTPs should consider giving their finances to their partners to manage (assuming that their partners are better with it than they are!), or hiring a financial advisor to help them plan. 

According to Keirsey’s Temperament Theory, the ideal partner for the ESTP is the ISFJ, whose calm, compassionate and stable nature complement the ESTP well in a relationship.

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