ESTJ Communication

This section ESTJ Communication is about how ESTJs communicate.

This includes how they usually communicate with others, how you can reach an ESTJ through speaking their language, what are some possible conflict points when working with ESTJs, and some pointers on how ESTJs can improve their communication style.

How ESTJs communicate

ESTJs are task-oriented, matter-of-fact individuals who are focused on completing the task at hand. They are no-nonsense, like to take charge to coordinate and organize resources to achieve objectives. 

ESTJs like to create structure, rules, standards in all that they do, and they like to do things according to plan in the most efficient way possible.

They are comfortable  with project management schedules, standard operation procedures and organizational structures.

They are given to detail, being accurate and precise in facts and information. This includes the objectives they are given: they like them defined realistically and specifically, leaving no room for ambiguity. 

How to reach an ESTJ

When you are communicating with an ESTJ:

  • Demonstrate your competence and experience

    ESTJs respect your knowledge of facts, your confidence and your experience. When you are communicating with them, support your decisions and information well with your grasp of facts and successful experiences. 

    If ESTJs sense that you do not know what you are talking about or that you lack the necessary experience, they will not give you that respect or consider you their equal, making it difficult for you to persuade them or win them over. 

  • Clearly define instructions and roles

    ESTJs work with the concrete and practical information that you provide them. The more precise you can be, the better. Objectives, standards, expectations, timelines, deadlines, responsibilities; all these things should be defined as clearly as possible down to the exact numbers, if possible. 

    Avoid giving vague ideas, abstract information or discuss theory that has no immediate practical application. ESTJs generally are unable to work with such information as effectively as clear and practical ones.

    So even if you have to share such types of information, be sure to break it down into a step-by-step and practical manner for the ESTJ. 

  • Get to the point

    ESTJs are task-oriented individuals who see no need to have small talk or casual conversations unless it is to achieve an objective. When you are interacting with them for work, do not waste their time on unfocused conversations as well, or beat about the bush. 

    When you are communicating with them, get down to business immediately after a quick introduction. Get straight to what you want to achieve with them; ESTJs appreciate and respect the task-oriented, straightforward approach to work. 

Conflict Points

That said; let’s look at what will possibly cause conflict with an ESTJ, and how you can avoid it. 

  • Having to deal with emotional reaction of others

    ESTJs are task oriented individuals who do not like to get personal emotions involved in their work. They find emotions irrational and irrelevant in the completion of a task and find it hard to comprehend how people can bring it into their professional life. 

    When you see emotions involved in a situation with an ESTJ, you can pull the one with the emotional outburst out of the situation and seek to diffuse it before return to the situation. This includes ESTJs themselves, who under great stress may show an unexpected burst of emotion. 

    Other than that, try to keep emotions out of your conversations and keep your points logical, rational and objective when communicating with the ESTJ.

  • Arguments that overlook the facts

    ESTJs are rational and objective people who will consider all current facts and data and come to a conclusion. When dealing with people who seemingly overlook obvious facts, ESTJs become frustrated because they cannot comprehend other non-factual data; with a chance of it ending in conflict.

    When debating or arguing with an ESTJ, bring relevant data and current facts forth that will support your case. Leave out emotional factors, big ideas or abstract theories because it does little to persuade an ESTJ of your stand. 

  • Challenging their authority

    ESTJs are traditional individuals who believe in and respect the rules, structure, authority that have been placed over the organizations and they want others to do the same when they are in charge.

    When people challenge their authority, especially without good reason (at least in their eyes), conflict ensues.

    If you will unhappiness over an ESTJ in charge of you, speak to them respectfully, using facts and data to back your argument and allow them to make the final decision on all that you’ve said and respect the authority that’s been given to them by the organization.

Tips for development

If you’re an ESTJ, consider these as avenues for development:

  • Learn to be more comfortable with change and ambiguity

    Change is a constant in our world today with rapidly changing technology and sometimes this change happens faster than you can handle. Learn to be comfortable with transitions, changes and ambiguity in your work, understanding that it is a part of modern day living. 

    You may tend to see things black and white, but remember that not all things in life can be seen as such. There are a lot of grey areas and sometimes there can be multiple possible answers to a particular situation.

  • Build personal relationships at work

    You take a no nonsense approach to work, and you prefer to get straight to the point. But understand that some people like to build relationships with people at work and they become more effective when working with people they like personally. 

    Occasionally, approach a colleague at work and ask them out for coffee and have a chat with them, with no agendas. Be comfortable with sharing a little of your personal life and allow others to share theirs. 

    You will find a good relationship go a long way at the workplace as well.

  • Consider long term implications of your decisions

    Being practical and down-to-earth, you consider the immediate consequences of particular decisions but tend to consider long term implications of it. The ideal solutions for the long term may be harder to implement sometimes, but it often leads to long term rewards as well. 

    Allow others to share long term possibilities of today’s decisions without requiring facts or concrete data; because sometimes there isn’t any. You will find that eventually that a few of these possibilities do become reality. 

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