The ESFP-ESFJ
Relationship
Joys and Struggles

This section ESFP-ESFJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESFP-ESFJ relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference difference. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Extroversion

Joys

  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.

  • They will likely enjoy each other's energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together. 

  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need. 

Struggles

  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.

  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.

  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.

Sensing-Sensing

Joys

  • Will likely enjoy similar topics in conversation, mainly about past and present happenings related to, people they've met, places they've been, experiences they seen.

  • Both like language simple, straightforward and literal; will likely 'click' with each other.

  • Because both tend to live in the present, household duties are less likely to be neglected. However the more passive ones may still not perform them.

Struggles

  • Although both enjoy Sensory details, the couple may disagree on specifics in the household: i.e. what colour should the wall be, where should the vase be placed.

  • In times of crises, both partners tend to over-worry or think up worst case scenarios, which is unproductive and sometimes cause destructive conflict between the couple.

  • In such cases, they may lack the future looking vision that will help them through the crisis. 

Feeling-Feeling

Joys

  • Both parties are attracted to each other's warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other's needs.

  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other. 

  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner's needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.

Struggles

  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.

  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.

  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions. 

Judging-Perceiving

Joys

  • Judgers enjoy making decisions for the relationship while Perceivers are happy just to let Judgers do so. Perceivers are happy to go with the flow according to the Judger's opinions, and they are generally okay with most casual decisions.

  • Because of their organized and scheduled nature, Judgers bring a stability and order to the otherwise messy and spontaneous lives of Perceivers - something that the Perceivers greatly appreciate.

  • Perceivers, on the other hand, help Judgers to lighten up and see the fun side of life, bidding them to be less serious and uptight about everything - something that the Judgers know they need a reminder of.

Struggles

  • However, Judgers find Perceivers to be too passive and casual with their indecisiveness - Sometimes this gets on the nerves of Judgers.

  • Perceivers may find Judgers'  to be too controlling at times; they often react by pushing back because they find it too stifling to their desire for freedom. 

  • Judgers find that Perceivers care little about household organization, something which they value highly. Perceivers are likely to mess up the house because they don't like to keep things neat and orderly (at least in the Judger's eyes) - this of course drives Judgers crazy.

  • Judgers may also find the Perceiver's lack of planning and scheduling to be irritating; they may try to organize the Perceiver's life as a result - this of course, is a mistake and something that Perceivers do not always appreciate. 

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESFP-ESFJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.



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