The ESFJ-ENFJ
Relationship
Joys and Struggles

This section ESFJ-ENFJ relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. Specifically, we will be looking at the joys of this relationship as well as the struggles this relationship may have.

The ESFJ-ENFJ relationship has 3 preference similarities and 1 preference differences. Regardless of the number of similarities and differences, each personality combination will have its unique set of challenges. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually:

Extroversion-Extroversion

Joys

  • Because both parties enjoy people, they are likely to go for many socializing activities and parties together.

  • They will likely enjoy each other's energy and zest for life and have many fun activities and adventures together. 

  • Because of their love for people and socializing, they are likely to have a large network around them, supporting and mediating for the couple in time of need. 

Struggles

  • Because both love to speak, (not so much listen), they may try to compete for air time when conversing with one another. So instead of listening, they may out talk each other in order to be heard.

  • Hence, they may not feel fulfilled, especially if one party is always doing the talking and the other doing the listening.

  • One party may turn to outside friends to fill that desire to speak and be heard, and in bad cases, it may lead to extra-marital affair.

Sensing-Intuition

Joys

  • Sensors enjoys the insightful and brilliant Intuitive and seeing things from a big picture, strategic perspective relative to theirs.

  • Sensors are also likely fascinated by the outlandish imagination of the Intuitive; with big dreams and visions. 

  • Intuitives will appreciate the Sensors attention to detail in everyday living; Sensors bring Intuitives down to earth to common sense. 

  • While not true for all Sensors, Sensors dress themselves and groom themselves relatively well; this is something that Intuitives will appreciate and admire.

Struggles

  • May find it a challenge to have a common topic for discussion; Sensors enjoy talking about everyday happenings while Intuitive enjoys ideas, trends and theories. These differences in interest may mean the couple may find little or no chemistry.

  • Sensors are more past and present focused while Intuitives tend to be more future oriented; This means that Sensors will take references from past experiences and present facts to make a decision, while Intuitives are more likely to take into account future possibilities when doing so. - This may lead to different conclusions with available information.

  • Sensors may find Intuitives' lack of interest in everyday living and managing household tasks to be frustrating; they don't understand why Intuitives are always 'in their heads', pondering about the deep things of life while they are the ones taking care of the duties of the household. 

Feeling-Feeling

Joys

  • Both parties are attracted to each other's warmth, sensitivity and kindness to each other's needs.

  • Both will likely enjoy their expressiveness and natural affection with each other. 

  • Both Feeling types tend to recognize and consider their partner's needs and try to meet them. Hence there is usually high level of harmony in the relationship.

Struggles

  • Because both value some level of harmony, they may store up unhappy feelings inside and not share openly.

  • They may avoid necessary conflict and disagreements; this is unhealthy in the long run for the quality of the relationship.

  • Because both may decisions with their personal values, they may sometimes overlook logical consequences of certain actions. 

Judging-Judging

Joys

  • Because both value organization, they are likely to have a neat and tidy household with clear rules and standards, something which both parties will prefer.

  • They are likely also to plan their schedules with each other, with little or no issue with unnecessary last minute changes. 

  • They will also appreciate their partner's ability to keep up with the demands of everyday living and stay on top. 

  • They will likely be strong together with budgeting, there will be little or no issues with planning out finances together. 

Struggles

  • Even though both parties may have standards in the household, they may have very different standards. 

  • Because both tend to be opinionated, their arguments and quarrels may be more intense. Both may refuse to budge on their standards and compromise.

  • Both parties like to settle things; this means that sometimes they may make premature decisions without sufficiently considering their alternative options. 

This is a summary of the joys and pains of the ESFJ-ENFJ relationship.

However, personality dynamics are more complex than this. It does not just extend to the difference or similarity in individual preferences but goes deeper than that.



Want to learn more about relationship dynamics?
Download the new eBook here!

Return from ESFJ-ENFJ to Type and Relationships

Comments

Have your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.