ENFJ Communication

This section ENFJ Communication is about how ENFJs communicate.

This includes how they usually communicate with others, how you can reach an ENFJ through speaking their language, what are some possible conflict points when working with ENFJs, and some pointers on how ENFJs can improve their communication style.

How ENFJs communicate

ENFJs are friendly, warm, expressive and supportive individuals who are insightful and concerned about helping others reach their fullest potential.

They enjoy leading people and organizing resources, and through strategic planning lead them toward achieving an objective.

To achieve objectives, they consider also the unique gifts, talents and contributions of each individual and how it can best serve the task.

They are cooperative individuals who seek harmony and consensus in their working relationship, and therefore, show empathy and encouragement with other people.

How to reach an ENFJ

When you are communicating with an ENFJ:

  • Be encouraging and affirming but task focused

    ENFJs have a mix of people and task oriented-ness; although they enjoy building personal relationships with people they’re working with, they are also task oriented and would like to get the job done with minimal disruption.

    When communicating with them, be warm, encouraging and affirming and at the same time, get to the task at hand; ENFJs both appreciative the warmth and the serious approach to work.

  • Talk about people development

    ENFJs strongly believe in the development of human potential and growth. They most enjoy roles that require them to help others become better people, and it also makes them deeply appreciate the unique differences of each individual and how they can make a unique contribution to the organization or society in general.

    Whenever possible, when assigning them a task, talk about how it would help others develop and grow. While most tasks may not have such an effect, but the communication of this will truly motivate the ENFJ to do the best for you.

  • Give them flexibility to achieve objectives

    ENFJs are insightful individuals who are able to understand the essence or the purpose of a task before you tell them. They are comfortable with big ideas, abstract theories and like discussing them.

    When assigning a task to ENFJs, providing general guidelines would be sufficient. They would like to be trusted to make personal judgments and decisions according to their values and insight to achieve the objectives.

Conflict Points

That said; let’s look at what will possibly cause conflict with an ENFJ, and how you can avoid it. 

  • Harsh criticism or judgment

    ENFJs deeply value cordial working relationships and spend time to build them through encouragement, friendliness and affirmation of their working colleagues. 

    However, in an environment where criticism is harsh or judgmental attitudes are present, especially from those whom they trust, you will see an uncharacteristic ENFJ entering into conflict.

    Even when criticism is necessary, learn to frame the criticism in the most positive light possible. ENFJs will catch your point, but will also respect your desire to keep the working relationship cordial.

  • Undermining their beliefs

    ENFJs have strong beliefs and values about how things should be. They hold these beliefs dearly and they consider it part of their personal identity. 

    When a thoughtless comment seems to undermine what they believe in, it could potentially lead to conflict with the ENFJ.

    It’s always good to start by finding out what is important to the ENFJ through casual conversation or personal sharing. That way, you are more aware of what remarks or comments you have might possibly spark conflict, and thereby you can avoid them.

  • Unwillingness to resolve differences 

    ENFJs find harmony to be very important in all their relationships, whether personal or working. When coming across differences or disagreements, ENFJs method of resolution is to ensure that there is no lingering bitterness. 

    If, however, there are individuals who choose not to be cooperative in resolving these differences, it will probably cause conflict with the ENFJ.

    Always be ready to talk things out with the ENFJ should there be any disagreements or arguments. Ultimately, they just need to know that you don’t hold any grudges or are bitter toward anybody. 

Tips for development

If you’re an ENFJ, consider these as avenues for development:

  • Learn to look at situations objectively

    Understand that when some people do look at a situation objectively, considering the merits of both sides of an argument before moving forward. 

    Sometimes you might look at a situation too personally and become overly enthusiastic or passionate about it such that when the idea is challenged or rejected, you might take it as a rejection of you. 

    Don’t take things too personally and allow the calm logical analysis to happen; appreciate the balance and practicality that such an approach can bring. 

  • Communicate practically

    You may like to communicate in abstract language, metaphors or stories to bring out your points effectively.

    While that can be witty and brilliant, know that some people would not be able to make the same connections as you.

    Learn to communicate practical manner, presenting information in a sequential, logical order and showing pros and cons where necessary. Give hard data and concrete evidence to support your decisions and opinions as well.  

  • Learn to give and receive corrective feedback

    Understand corrective feedback is not a bad thing and is necessary to help others develop their potential. You might be afraid of a potential conflict that might result, but in the long run, it’s going to help the person to become better.

    In the same way, do not take corrective feedback personally. 

    People who correct you give you an opportunity to develop yourself, and it’s seldom because they have something against you personally.


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